Day off :-)

So today, other than a 2 hr lecture, was a day off! I have tomorrow off as well so I used today to really work on my personal statement for the residency application.  I really struggle with writing formally so it's taking me FOREVER.  I want to include things about my previous military time and past struggles I've had to get where I am. It's just really hard to articulate it the way I want it to come out. ALso, it's difficult for me to write about myself and somewhat "sell" myself to program directors. I'm a MUCH better speaker/interviewer than writer :-/  Nonetheless, it's coming along. I have my interview on July 23rd so I hope to be done with the personal statement by the beginning of next week.  As far as the interview, i'm nervous about it. I know all I can do is be myself, be honest, and hope for the best. I'm just hoping I don't say something stupid lol, i have been known to do that from time to time.

Overall though, being here, on a base again, surrounded by people in the same "boat" as me has really calmed a lot of worries I was having in the months before I came. Being disconnected from AF people and things, while still having to make plans with the AF in mind was stressing me out. It's sometimes difficult for my peers, and even my closest family and friends, to really grasp the concept of why I would even want to be in the military. They certainly support me and are behind me no matter what I do, good or bad, but that's different than somebody who just understands and gets it. I love my supporters and don't know what I would do without them. But sometimes, it's refreshing and super reassuring to be around people who I don't have to explain anything to...they just know and feel/understand where my driving force comes from, nor do they see it as a nuisance. I think I was just getting the feeling that I was alone the past couple of months. Alone in the sense that I was constantly defending and sometimes even doubting all of this Air Force thing. Now that I'm here though, I remember exactly why I make and have made certain choices for myself that could potentially make my life very difficult and non-traditional.  I guess you could say I like I belong to a "team" (wow cheesy!!!) again.  So I know it's silly to feel like I'm alone in this, because I know I'm not. Maybe I just needed to see other people doing this, and not only doing it, but being incredibly happy doing it. So being here has been great on more than one level, I needed it.

A month and a half until I'm back in AZ! With my little abbey girl and in my own bed! I still have a bit to go, but I am getting excited :-)

 It has been a good day off, and this song always makes me relax :-)  

Long day...

So I'm on my second week of my ED rotation. So far I have had a great time. Today, however, was by far my favorite day of all! We had a procedure lab where we were assigned to a live pig (about 100lbs) and got to do a bunch of procedures on them. We practiced getting intra-osseous access (basically sticking a large bore needle into a long bone when you can't get a peripheral IV), chest tubes, cricothyrotomy (hole in neck for airway),  thoracotomy (cracking open a chest), diagnostic peritoneal lavage ( flushing fluid in the abdomen looking for blood), and cardiac massage!! A couple of attendings and the program director were in my group so I either made an ass of myself of did a good job to impress them, who knows lol. But it was really awesome to be exposed to the setting where we can actually learn those types of procedures on live animals. I love that they put that much effort into teaching us on this rotation, it really makes up for the slow ED :-)

Everyday I'm here, and the more I talk to the residents, I love this program more. It's not as in your face military as San Antonio is, you get close to 5 civilian hospitals in your rotation, rather than just 1 big hospital, but most of all, the people are amazing. The people/personalities are what matter the most to me and if I can see myself happy working with these people. Granted, it IS the AF and people move around sooo much, but I feel like I can really fit in here. Also, I do want civilian hospital experience, and you get that for your entire 3 years here.  I do love the AF, but i think I will really like the civ/military mix of residency life they have here.  Sometimes they are the bane of my existence, but the homeless drunk does have his/her role in teaching students on how to be a good ED doc lol.

In other news, i've been running a good amount here. The base is pretty, pics coming soon! There's a sweet rock gym not far from here and I think i'm going to head there in the next couple of days. I've been sooo busy lately and they sneak lectures/labs in on my days off so I haven't had time to explore it yet. This week though!!

Ok more updates later!

Something I wish I didn't learn today...

It is still possible for people to fart during a rectal exam. 

Lesson learned...unfortunately. 

My first 2 shifts!

So I've been in Ohio at Wright-Pat AFB for 3 days now and I've had 2 ED shifts. Overall, they're been pretty good. The base hospital where I'm rotating is not a big place like I thought it was. There's no real trauma or real emergencies for that matter. The people that come to the base medical center are either retired military or active or they're dependents. Also, there are very few actual emergencies that come to the ER here. Most of the complaints are things that can be handled by a family med doc as an outpatient. That's just how this small hospital is set up :-/

That being said, the residency program here is actually quite awesome. As an intern/resident you actually don't spend anytime on this base hospital and you're out in the civ world at the big trauma hospitals around the Dayton area, so that's cool.

I have met some crazy awesome docs though. Although the actual flow of real emergencies is relatively low, I'm learning LOTS and getting to basically make the decisions for my patients, write the orders, and much more! So it's been great so far.

The other thing I'm learning is how different the medical side of the Air Force is from the operational side. I would NEVER think of calling a Col by his first name, much less a nick name, and here it's expected...crazy. I guess because of the team dynamics of the ED with nurses, techs, and docs, the relationship is closer and more laid back. I like that it's laid back and informal, I never really liked the whole "power hungry salute me because i'm higher ranking than you" thing that goes on.  Some people might argue that its a bad thing for the enlisted and officers to be on a first name basis when the rest of the AF is not, but trust me, everyone still knows who is the doctor and who is really in charge...regardless of the rank.  So it all works out.

Things I have learned so far:
- Don't assume that military members/dependents are less crazy than the average population...the crazy is still there, it just hides better in the military.
- I despise decisions based on pure politics, well this i already knew
- I hate being called ma'am
- How to remove a foreign body from an eye with a TB needle
- still not a fan of the pelvic exam despite my female-ness


It's 2am, and i'm falling asleep so better and more well put togther posts are coming soon!

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

So my week of post-boards relaxation has finally come to an end. I've spent the week mostly relaxing, packing slowly, watching soccer, and enjoying my free time. It was a great week, but I'm definitely ready to get back in the hospital and get back to work. I'm leaving on Monday morning at 6am for my 2 month adventure back in to the active duty Air Force. I'll be going to Wright-Patt AFB in Dayton, OH for 4 weeks and then Wilford Hall Med Center in San Antonio, TX for another month. The only difference this time is that I'll be working in the ED, not on the flight line :) .  I have sort of mixed emotions about how these next couple of months are going to go. I'm extremely excited to finally rotate at places I may actually end up and get a glimpse into what could quite possibly be my life for the next 3 years. With excitement comes the nervousness of "holy crap, I've been off active duty for 3 years, I'm gonna look like an idiot!" On top of this, there's the anxiety that I MUST impress these programs so they actually pick me from the hundreds of applicants. One good thing though, is that I feel ready to finally see what it's like to combine my Air Force life with my medical life. I've done them separately and I hope I realize and get that feeling that the combination of the two is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. So, i'm excited/nervous/anxious/ready for the next 2 months!

Things I plan to do/keep up with while I'm gone:
- RUNNING!!
- SWIMMING!!!
- RIDING (i plan to participate in the SOMA 70.3 triathlon again this year in October so I gotta get my butt in gear!)
- CLIMBING
- TAKING PICTURES (of everything of course!)
- oh yea and reading and learning lots of Emergency medicine things :)

So that's what I'm up to for the next couple of months. It comes at a great time too...it's crazy HOT right now so it'll be nice to get out of AZ. Not to mention I've been wanting to get out of town lately. I love AZ but something has been making me antsy, like I need a slight change of perspective as of late. Not really sure why that is really. But hopefully I'll get a much needed change of perspective on the many things I purposely place on my already full plate. Maybe I'll just want to add more? :)

I will miss my abbey though :(  She'll be hanging out with Xiomi and they're going to keep each other from getting lonely, abbey was put on this earth for that, I'm convinced of that.

Well stay tuned for funny ER stories, angry rants of frustration, crazy ER times, and funny Sasha stories...we all know I can get myself into the craziest situations.

Losing my mind...(even more than i have already)

It's Saturday, my Step 2 board exam, my last big exam in medical school, is on Monday. I have been sticking, pretty well I might add, to a schedule I set for myself 2 months ago. I don't do anything training or studying on a regimented schedule so I'm proud of myself for doing that this time. Thus, I am losing my mind now that it is 2 days before the big test!! I am burned out from studying, have the attention span of a gnat (hence my blog posting right now) and would just like to get the dang thing over with!  I'm so over studying that I even stared at my swim goggles for a good 6 minutes straight today thinking of reasons why one side always lets water in but the other doesn't..yea, wow.

Phillip= Sasha

Wish me luck on Monday! :)

Daydreamer...

So time has been flying this month! Last month flew by probably because i didn't ever sleep, was surrounded by the crankiest people ever, and the month was a blurr, like one looong day. My cousin moved in a couple of weeks ago and we had a week to just hang out and explore arizona. She likes AZ a lot and is adjusting to the heat pretty well. I've taken her rock climbing (which she loves), to spin class, yoga, and hiking. So far i think she's enjoying it and still getting somewhat settled. I've spent my mornings on Radiology rotation that entails me reading films/CT's/MRI's/etc for about 2-3 hours and then using the rest of my free day to study. Having the day off would normally be really tempting to go hiking or spend a couple hours climbing or running. Fortunately for my studying regimen and unfortunately for my sanity, it's so dang HOT until about 10pm that the thought of even running a mile outdoors makes me have a heat stroke. I can take the heat pretty well usually, but this heat doesn't even make running enjoyable. I swam the other day and after a few laps I felt like i was swimming in a hot tub...gross. So due to this sub-optimal heat I've resorted to sticking with climbing, swimming, yoga, and spin class this month!

Anyway, I'm excited for boards to be over at the end of the month. July and Aug are going to be big months for me since I'm going to be in Ohio and Texas. I'm trying not to stress too much about these audition rotations, do my best, be myself, and just hope things go smoothly. I know one thing, I neeeeeed to find either a pool, a sweet running route, or a rock gym to make it through the month. So the stress from paperwork, board exams, setting up rotations, filling out residency applications coupled with my "free" time spent studying usually in startbucks or some other coffee shop, has made me somewhat of a daydreamer.  It usually happens when I'm distracted by people watching or taking a short break from reading (LIKE RIGHT NOW) that I start wondering what it would feel like if I didn't have med school, AF, studying, all of these things on my plate. It only lasts a few minutes, but I do try to picture myself and how life would be if I never had/wanted these things. I see a lot of my friends doing things now that I usually say I'll do "one day", I've been saying that for as long as I can remember. Not that I'm not doing anything, but sometimes I do with I had the freedom (AND MONEY!) to pick up and go somewhere for the weekend, or longer, and not feel guilty about how i'm not studying or not reading or how I'll have to watch for emails from med school things.  I'm not complaining really. I chose this and I wouldn't change anything about my life and how it has played out so far. I have met some amazing people along this path that I don't know what I would do without. I just know all of these things, the studying/books/AF/working out/my shenanigans/crazy running around all the time trying to be in 4 places at once...it's me. And really, it's tough to picture myself doing anything else. But it would be nice to actually try out the gypsy life for a short period of time. To take breaks from my daydreaming and adventurous life to study,not the other way around, would be awesome. I'm not sure that I would even know where to start, but I'm sure I could figure it out eventually. But for now, daydreaming on my study breaks will have to be the extent of my gypsyness. :-)

Song that's stuck in my head: Adele-Daydreamer