The man who taught me everything about schizophrenia...

So my rotation at the VA on inpatient mental health ward is coming to an end tomorrow. I'm not really sad, it's basically been your run of the mill PTSD, depression, anxiety, adjustment disorder with your occasional shizophrenia. The guys, I say guys because I think i saw one woman all month, have been cool. Some bang their heads against walls, some poop on the floor, some think its funny to charge at staff, and some, to my entertainment, spend their days sliding across the floor in their socks (they aren't allowed to have shoes). But of all the patients, none have taught me more about psych than my schizophrenic friend, we'll call him David.

David is over 50, talks in code languages, walks about 15-20 miles in a day if we let him around the ward, wears glasses with one lens, calls me judge judy, tells me to jump out of the window just about daily, will only wear unmatched socks, and carries around a curious george doll everywhere he goes. He is pleasant most of the time (as long as he has george), very intelligent, and is really harmless...he's just very psychotic. On a daily basis he asks me about my fishing trips, tells me he bought me a white horse, and tried to convince me that barak obama has given him kingship of the country and he can leave the ward...at the very least he's a break from all of the PTSD and depression. He's crazy, but he's happy, and I love that. So now that psych is over i think about what I've learned and he is def somebody I will never forget and he's taught me a lot about mental health in general. It's crazy to think I've learned more from the most psychotic man on the ward than I have from my preceptor. I would thank david for his help, but he'd probably respond in "our" code language that i'm apparently supposed to understand but I don't lol. So I guess I'll just shake his hand and thank him for the horse!

My interview with David today:

Me: David, can you tell me why you refused your valproic acid this morning?

David: "It makes me upset..."

Me: Can you describe how it makes you feel specifically? Headaches, dizzy...?

David: "Let me show you..."(proceeds to rip the head off of curious george doll, while making loud sound effects, stomps on it and throws it against the wall)"....that's pretty much how I feel"

Me: ummmmmm...(trying not to laugh hysterically)...I think I need you to give me curious george now.

Poor curious george.

Day by day...

It's been a while since I posted something...I've been busy! Psych at the VA isn't too much at the moment actually. It's quite entertaining most days and other days its really eye opening at how devastating psychological problems can be. I can say that i DO NOT want to be a psychiatrist but it is very interesting. I just don't think I have the patience to deal with schizophrenia and depression everyday without developing some component of the disease myself. I've been there 2 weeks and I think I have panic disorder from being around some of the patients. It is a cool rotation and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Especially when I'm told to jump out the window, stop forging signatures, stop being a spy, and to stop torturing the kids. Yes, I have been told by my one schizophrenic patient to do/not do all of the above things!

If there is one thing that I am learning at the VA, it's how terrible the current war is affecting the young soldiers, and that makes me sad. I don't like talking to guys 3 years older than me about their PTSD from when they watched mass casualties. I guess since I'm going to be part of the military, as a doc, its good to know what my potential patients are dealing with. But its still sad nonetheless.

On a lighter note, SOMA is in 2 weeks!!! AHHHHH!!! Freak out mode began again today when I watched the St. Croix 70.3 on TV....idk why, but i got scared! I was doing so well with my confidence and knowing that ready or not, I was gonna do fine. Plus, I never consider myself "ready" for anything...i usually just do it and decide later. I just really need to make sure I have everything taken care of with my bike and prep plans for the tri. This is a big race and i would hate for something to go wrong that I could've prevented because I'm still somewhat of a beginner. So, this next week is going to be my last hammer week of training, I have to make the most of it! I'm really anxious to do the race (not the pain part) and be done with it. It's been building up in my head for so long now, i'm finally ready to conquer it and focus on the next thing!

Funny note: my cousin and I have agreed to try a 1 month trial on yahoo personals together. Mainly to get funny stories at the ridiculousness of online dating, but also to perhaps make new friends in the area. Watch I'm going to manage to find the strangest/craziest guys....story of my life! lol Anyway, I'm pretty much over going out to clubs and staying out late and playing dress up to meet guys. Most of the time the guys you meet out are less than impressive to say the least. Also it could be cuz i'm a lamo and enjoy going to bed at 10pm on sat nights so i can get up and ride in the gorgeous AZ weather or do something else fun outdoors. That is way more appealing to me than being hung over and sleeping till noon. I swear there has to be guys out there that enjoy that....right???

I'm in no real rush anyway, just going one day at a time and hopefully letting things work themselves out. This is one of my favorite songs that in my head right now, of course its on Grey's, not to be girly cheesy again....