Things I've HATED (or just disliked) about this month:
- the politics of the military (i.e. useless paperwork, people making up stupid irrational rules to get promoted, etc)
- High heels in service dress
- Blues pants!! (who ever designed the blues uniform for women needs to be tortured, seriously. )
- my bathroom faucet that leaks every 1.5 seconds and I SWEAR gets louder at night and can be heard through a steel door!
- Having BMT kids stand up and at attention when i walk into the room in the ER. I know they're conditioned to do that, but i dislike it a lot. Same goes for the "yes/no ma'am" after every question.
- Seeing a little girl with "facial droop", making several glove balloons for her, and then finding out she has a large brain tumor and has less than 1 year to live. :(
- Having crazy enlisted people yell at me for a uniform issue while they neglect the things that really matter...like a patient with sats in the 70's!!
- The wasps (ugly black ones) that seem to live and multiply in my stairwell and chase me every time I need to come to my room!
- The smallest shower known to man, that also floods the floor with every use.
- Going for a run after dark and sweating so much that my shoes are soaked, gross.
- Wearing Blues on mondays!
- Whiney BMT kids that complain about everything and don't know how to cope with a little stress.
- cynical people, especially cynical doctors that hate their life!
- Nurses that think they're doctors
- blood on my boots :(
- Seeing a sexual abuse case on a 4 yr old
- Colonel's who think they deserve special and faster treatment in the ER and refuse to be seen by medical students
- Feeling like matching at this program would take a miracle because of my board scores :-/
- People who walk around with a chip on their shoulder
My ramblings about this crazy journey we call life...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Things I love/hate...
I'm almost done in San Antonio!! It seems like these past 2 months have gone by so fast! I've learned LOTS and made some awesome new friends. I hope I'm back here this time next year (fingers crossed!!!) THere are SO MANY patient stories funny, sad, and awesome from this month that It would take me forever to write about all of them. Instead I'll just list them in my love/hate lists...
Things I LOVE from this month:
- Taking care of basic trainees that are so pumped and don't even realize they've lacerated their faces in the field and are forced to come get sewn up by the MTI's, and when they arrive, ask not to be numbed up because they want to be "tough". Some of these kids are sooo pumped up about getting their asses kicked everyday...how can you not love them!
- Out of all the basic trainees that we see everyday in the ER for "lightheadedness:... basically being "wimpy"...90% of them are male! :-D
- Finding an acute appendicitis on a WWII mustang pilot! (and then sticking my finger in his butt, that part i didn't love, but how many people can say that?!)
- Convincing a resident to get a CT abdomen (and betting a cup of coffee that it finds something) and finding a weird congenital intestinal anomaly that required immediate surgery! (ok fine, maybe I was ridiculously lucky on that one, i just wanted coffee, but sometimes its better to be lucky than good!)
- Being part of an all female trauma team :)
- Finally grasping the concept that in less than 1 year, I will be a freaking doctor! (are you serious???)
- Being around people that understand exactly what I'm thinking without even having to say it
- Not being the only one who seems to have to know the age of everyone we're talking about, even non-patients ;-)
- Waking up to taps and going to sleep when I hear reveille :) I love the schedule of an ER doc!
- Being a part of a collective "yaay!!!" when the trauma phone rings.
- Learning that I too have my own "spidey-sense" about patients and even better, that a lot of times I am right!
- Not feeling like an idiot during a resuscitation
- Being pushed by residents/staff to be better all the time
- Realizing that i'm NOT the most type A person I know ;)
- Speaking spanish to my patients and having them tell me they are "proud of me." (i'm not really sure for what, but i just say thanks lol)
- Seeing people in the exact place/places I want to be and knowing the sky's the limit.
- Talking and Writing in only acronyms and abbreviations
- Hearing the words... "i trust you doctor"
- Looking at an ultrasound and actually seeing more than black and white dots!
- Sticking needles in things
- Having a consultant doc believe that I'm actually a doctor and not a med student!
- Being in a place where, 3 years ago, seemed so far away! :)
Things I LOVE from this month:
- Taking care of basic trainees that are so pumped and don't even realize they've lacerated their faces in the field and are forced to come get sewn up by the MTI's, and when they arrive, ask not to be numbed up because they want to be "tough". Some of these kids are sooo pumped up about getting their asses kicked everyday...how can you not love them!
- Out of all the basic trainees that we see everyday in the ER for "lightheadedness:... basically being "wimpy"...90% of them are male! :-D
- Finding an acute appendicitis on a WWII mustang pilot! (and then sticking my finger in his butt, that part i didn't love, but how many people can say that?!)
- Convincing a resident to get a CT abdomen (and betting a cup of coffee that it finds something) and finding a weird congenital intestinal anomaly that required immediate surgery! (ok fine, maybe I was ridiculously lucky on that one, i just wanted coffee, but sometimes its better to be lucky than good!)
- Being part of an all female trauma team :)
- Finally grasping the concept that in less than 1 year, I will be a freaking doctor! (are you serious???)
- Being around people that understand exactly what I'm thinking without even having to say it
- Not being the only one who seems to have to know the age of everyone we're talking about, even non-patients ;-)
- Waking up to taps and going to sleep when I hear reveille :) I love the schedule of an ER doc!
- Being a part of a collective "yaay!!!" when the trauma phone rings.
- Learning that I too have my own "spidey-sense" about patients and even better, that a lot of times I am right!
- Not feeling like an idiot during a resuscitation
- Being pushed by residents/staff to be better all the time
- Realizing that i'm NOT the most type A person I know ;)
- Speaking spanish to my patients and having them tell me they are "proud of me." (i'm not really sure for what, but i just say thanks lol)
- Seeing people in the exact place/places I want to be and knowing the sky's the limit.
- Talking and Writing in only acronyms and abbreviations
- Hearing the words... "i trust you doctor"
- Looking at an ultrasound and actually seeing more than black and white dots!
- Sticking needles in things
- Having a consultant doc believe that I'm actually a doctor and not a med student!
- Being in a place where, 3 years ago, seemed so far away! :)
Monday, August 2, 2010
From Dayton to San Antonio...
So I'm halfway done with my Air Force Rotations! :-) The Wright-Pat AFB rotation was an overall great time! I'm not just saying that because it is my first choice for residency, it really was probably the best rotation I have had yet. It wasn't a crazy county ER by any means, but I think that really had it's advantages. It wasn't so over my head that all I could do was watch. I was able to handle pretty much everything that walked through the door and it really helped me mature from just taking history and physical exam, to managing the patient from start to finish independently (in most cases). It forced me to think more like a resident and that made me learn A LOT. Not only that, but this was the first rotation where I felt the staff really put effort into giving the med students a great experience. I really felt like they cared about us rather than using us as work horses. They, meaning the residents AND attendings, really made me feel welcome and like they genuinely wanted to help me. At a lot of rotations, it somewhat feels like they look down on you, sort of like a fraternity/sorority and you're the new pledge (not that I would know since i wasn't in either lol, i just think thats what it would be like). Dayton isn't really the most appealing city, but I would go there for the EM program to learn from these awesome people. I feel like i fit in better there.
So all that being said, I'm in San Antonio now!! I've been here for 2 days. Today was my orientation day and all I can say is this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the Wright-Patt program/ base. This base, Lackland AFB, is where all all of the new enlistees get trained. Every enlisted person comes through Lackland AFB for what's called, Basic Military Training. It's essentially "boot camp" for the Air Force. So naturally, there's lots of young airmen around here learning the ways of the Air Force. Because this is a big "training" base, they do pretty much EVERYTHING by the book. The rules for pretty much EVERYTHING are highly enforced, almost to a fault. It's not a bad thing necessarily, it is just crazy how 2 bases can be so different from one another. I haven't felt so scrutinized as far as uniform wear, proper military customs and courtesies, since i was in ROTC. I had heard that it was different here, I guess this is what they meant.
So today was a long and pretty frustrating day. Orientation consisted of running around to various offices to complete all the in-processing paperwork. In true military fashion, nobody knew what the heck was going on and it was highly disorganized and made no real sense to me. (as much as this goes against every fiber of my being, i had to just accept it and not ask why). This was what made it very frustrating for me. Here I am running around all morning getting confusing documents signed, getting totally random immunizations and lab tests (polio, HIV, and tDap???). I, along with 30 other students are given "priority" over anybody else who needs vaccination or tests because we "need" these done today. This is what really got me...There was an active duty MSgt who sadly had to wait for about 3 hours to get his vaccines and documents signed for his Humanitarian trip to Haiti, which he is leaving for TOMORROW, because we all had "priority". Really Air Force??? Since when does my rotation take precedence over a mission to a third world country to provide medical aid??? This along with a few other frustrating events today really took me back to the part of the Air Force that I struggle with. There's often a HUGE disparity between doing what makes sense/most efficient and what the Air Force sees as best practices. Some of the time, it seems like the AF does the opposite of what makes sense. I have some theories for why this is, but that's not really the point. Today I was reminded of exactly why I struggled to get released from the Air Force to attend med school and it almost felt like I was meeting my old enemy, beaurocracy. Obviously, today wasn't nearly on the same scale, but it was a quick taste of what that was like, and i DO NOT miss it. So I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining about the Air Force, because I'm certainly not. Some days I struggle with balancing the positive and negative, especially when I have a frustrating day like today. It pains, ESPECIALLY when things make no logical sense, to just "do what I'm told" without asking the question of why. I know this is the way of the Air Force at times, but it's an ongoing struggle that I'm not sure i'll ever get over. I love the air force, it has only brought me great things, but some days, as with everything in life, I get a real good reminder of the things I don't love as much. Maybe that's why it's the military, it has inherent sacrifices. As much as I don't like doing it (because it doesn't really matter at this point), these really frustrating days make me wonder how different my life would be without the AF. I honestly have no idea.
Anyway, i've heard people say "some days you are the windshield, and some days you're the bug"...today I was the bug :( BUT, tomorrow is another day. And maybe being the bug sometimes makes the days when we're the windshield that much better! :)
I'm def going to be a windshield tomorrow!
So all that being said, I'm in San Antonio now!! I've been here for 2 days. Today was my orientation day and all I can say is this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the Wright-Patt program/ base. This base, Lackland AFB, is where all all of the new enlistees get trained. Every enlisted person comes through Lackland AFB for what's called, Basic Military Training. It's essentially "boot camp" for the Air Force. So naturally, there's lots of young airmen around here learning the ways of the Air Force. Because this is a big "training" base, they do pretty much EVERYTHING by the book. The rules for pretty much EVERYTHING are highly enforced, almost to a fault. It's not a bad thing necessarily, it is just crazy how 2 bases can be so different from one another. I haven't felt so scrutinized as far as uniform wear, proper military customs and courtesies, since i was in ROTC. I had heard that it was different here, I guess this is what they meant.
So today was a long and pretty frustrating day. Orientation consisted of running around to various offices to complete all the in-processing paperwork. In true military fashion, nobody knew what the heck was going on and it was highly disorganized and made no real sense to me. (as much as this goes against every fiber of my being, i had to just accept it and not ask why). This was what made it very frustrating for me. Here I am running around all morning getting confusing documents signed, getting totally random immunizations and lab tests (polio, HIV, and tDap???). I, along with 30 other students are given "priority" over anybody else who needs vaccination or tests because we "need" these done today. This is what really got me...There was an active duty MSgt who sadly had to wait for about 3 hours to get his vaccines and documents signed for his Humanitarian trip to Haiti, which he is leaving for TOMORROW, because we all had "priority". Really Air Force??? Since when does my rotation take precedence over a mission to a third world country to provide medical aid??? This along with a few other frustrating events today really took me back to the part of the Air Force that I struggle with. There's often a HUGE disparity between doing what makes sense/most efficient and what the Air Force sees as best practices. Some of the time, it seems like the AF does the opposite of what makes sense. I have some theories for why this is, but that's not really the point. Today I was reminded of exactly why I struggled to get released from the Air Force to attend med school and it almost felt like I was meeting my old enemy, beaurocracy. Obviously, today wasn't nearly on the same scale, but it was a quick taste of what that was like, and i DO NOT miss it. So I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining about the Air Force, because I'm certainly not. Some days I struggle with balancing the positive and negative, especially when I have a frustrating day like today. It pains, ESPECIALLY when things make no logical sense, to just "do what I'm told" without asking the question of why. I know this is the way of the Air Force at times, but it's an ongoing struggle that I'm not sure i'll ever get over. I love the air force, it has only brought me great things, but some days, as with everything in life, I get a real good reminder of the things I don't love as much. Maybe that's why it's the military, it has inherent sacrifices. As much as I don't like doing it (because it doesn't really matter at this point), these really frustrating days make me wonder how different my life would be without the AF. I honestly have no idea.
Anyway, i've heard people say "some days you are the windshield, and some days you're the bug"...today I was the bug :( BUT, tomorrow is another day. And maybe being the bug sometimes makes the days when we're the windshield that much better! :)
I'm def going to be a windshield tomorrow!
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