Ready for a break...

It has been a tough holiday to say the least. I hasn't really felt like a holiday even happened to be honest. I'm not complaining really, it's just a different feeling to know that xmas, my favorite time of year because of family time, came and went without event on my part. I could see everyone around me enjoying holidays and it just felt like I wasn't a part of it, what a weird feeling. But, i guess I knew this non-holiday holiday would come eventually. And overall, it sucked a lot, but now its over. It's the new year already and it feels like just another day. 2011 was one of the best years ever, and in some ways, the worst. The good made up for the bad and vice versa I guess. I don't really have big plans for this year in particular. I just want to live as much as I can doing the things that I've dreamed of with people that love me and do all of that without regrets. Doesn't seem that difficult...we'll see.

Anyway, i have 1 week left of CCU and it feels amazing. I can honestly say this has been the most challenging rotation of the year. Challenging in the sense that the work load has been ridiculous. It hasn't all been bad though. The days when i can barely keep my eyes open, those days are bad. The days when, because of the crazy work load, i feel like I can handle complicated patients way better than I could just 2 weeks ago are pretty awesome. Cardiology is actually really fascinating to me and if the schedule wasn't so nuts, I would consider doing it. But i'm perfectly happy being a cards geek ER doctor :) I've learned a lot and for sure still have more to learn all the time. It's been the kind of fun that i'd rather not do again lol.

Now that CCU is almost over...it's time for PERU!!!! I still can't believe that this whole thing is even happening lol. We literally came up with the idea totally not thinking it would be possible on such short notice...but here we are, 1 week away from flying to Lima. I'm so happy that it was able to be done, maybe some higher power had something to do with it because I've really needed it. After the tough holiday, tough relationship ending, tough work schedule, i need to go to a spiritual place and find perspective again. It's so easy to lose that while working all the time in an unhealthy schedule, seeing people at their worst all the time, and being around what seems like a constant stream of negativity from other overworked doctors around you. It's funny how we go to places far away from what we know to really find ourselves, there's definitely something to be said about that.

7 Days!!! :)