Lots of things!

So i was going to start off by saying that I'm pretty stressed out these days, but then I realized that being stressed is my norm. I know no other life but balancing a hundred things at once, working hard, and planning for the next step. And really, almost everybody on this earth has stress of their own. So, it's more accurate to say that I'm doing my usual! Which is extremely stressful at times...but more times than not, its just the usual stress that is life. :) 

A list of the things I'm currently working on:

- Setting up a rotation in Bogota, Colombia- I'm getting somewhere now i.e. I have a hospital that is willing to take me! woo hooo!!

- Planning my 4th year rotations- aka deciding where and what i'm going to be doing for the next year of my life (eek!)

- Facing the fact that I'm going to retake one of my board exams (this thought makes me physically ill) to improve my chances of being accepted to a non-Air Force Emergency medicine program...this is worst case if I don't match with the AF...but my life works in worst case scenarios...so I'm planning for anything that could happen :)

- Training for a triathlon on April 11th- Nautica South Beach Tri! This includes weekend rides with team strada, running, swimming, and rock climbing (the climbing is for cross training)

- Studying for Step 2 of boards, Internal medicine shelf exam, Core shelf exam, oh and that USMLE Step 1..again!

- Trying to enjoy life as it comes

-and last but not least...not going insane! :)

So that may not sound like a lot and frankly I know people that do all of this and then some. I'm also super lucky (or maybe unlucky?) that I only have to worry about myself right now. Planning one medical career and life is complicated enough without having to incorporate the life of my family in there too...I can only imagine how tough that must be. So for my peeps that do it all...you totally rock more than you know ;-)

ANyway, despite all of the possible "what if this doesn't happen" or "what if i don't do well on this test or match at that program", I really am just telling myself that I've been here before and it has ALL worked out.  I've been there when nothing I planned for happened and everything I thought was going to happen, never did. No matter how much I scrambled to make it happen, it just wasn't in the cards at the time. Getting stationed in NM to do the opposite of what I was studying, not knowing anybody, and seemingly straying farther away from my medical school dream was the worst...or so I thought at the time. I have deja vu now from that now. I'm not at that point, but I remember it well and am doing the same "scrambling just in case" dance so that I don't even approach that feeling of being stuck again. Even still, if I do end up back there and things pan out totally different than I have been planning...I at least know I covered my bases and that it REALLY WILL BE OK. The worst feeling of helplessness back in NM brought the very best opportunity in my life and got me where I am now. So I'm trying to keep that in mind and not freak out lol. So here's to spending a little less time freaking out and less time making back up plans for my back up plans.  Enjoying the right now!