Sometimes I wish...

...that I was perfectly content with being a housewife and that I didn't care about the whole saving lives thing. I say this almost weekly, but really, who am I kidding?? With my domestic skills, I would make the world's most terrible housewife and my family would prob pay be to go back to work. It seems like it would make this life easier some days though. Until I realize cleaning and laundry stresses me out more than a crazy ER full of dying people. Maybe in another life.

...I was more girly. I've NEVER been an actual girly girl, as most of my friends have often told me. I've always been known as the tomboy of my family and I've actually gotten much better, thanks to my cousins :) I own actual high heels and dresses, several actually. This is an improvement from just a few years ago. I'm pretty content with my girlyness, or lack thereof. But sometimes, and by sometimes i mean once in a blue moon, I get the urge to wear dresses and high heels but then I quickly remember the trauma i have experienced from wearing high heels and my high heel PTSD comes back. Oh well, I'll stick with my flats out of respect for my feet, they do a lot for me as it is. :)

...I wasn't so stubborn. (this is not likely ever going to happen) Being stubborn isn't always a bad thing. It is part of the reason I've accomplished most things in my life. But sort of like the housewife thing, being less stubborn and more able to accept things I can't change would again, make this life A LOT easier lol. I guess it comes with the territory of being my mothers daughter. I never give up on anything. I often struggle with understanding that giving up isn't synonymous with walking away. Sometimes we just have to let things be and realize that, in my mom's own words, "cant save the world everyday." Let it be. Maybe a new tattoo idea?? ;)

...I had a longer attention span. My presumptive ADD sort of conflicts with my need to learn things for myself. I genuinely have to look up everything I'm taught, despite where/who I hear things from. Not in a distrusting way at all, I just always feel better reading things for myself straight from the source (i promise i'm not crazy controlling freak). I believe we should trust, but verify. That being said, I really have to work on my attention span. I go to read an article or a chapter to verify what I was just taught for example, and I can't make it through the 3rd page before thinking about what my next meal is going to be,   how far I'm going to run that day, or some other random non-important thought. I need to get a grip on this attention span thing...intern year is not the time to get distracted by every car that drives by lol. I feel like that dog from Up...sqquiirrll!!!!

ok I'm done now. There's many more things I could add to this list. Sadly, that last one is the limiting factor. Off to sleep.

This might actually be my wedding attire, one day, except red instead of purple... :) :)

Source: ninephotography.squarespace.com via Bix on Pinterest