Doin what I do....

It's been almost a week since my last post! That is a long time for me since posting is a vital part of my day...it gives me a chance to reflect. So the first week back from spring break was super busy, class from 8-5 everyday, threw myself back into a high mile run week, taught spinning a couple days, and had board review from 8-5 on saturday and sunday! I'm not complaining, everyone that knows me will tell you I'm used to running around like a crazy person taking on more than I should, but sheesh, that was a crazy week! I think it was the full weekend of board review where i was furiously taking notes (i'm sort of type A) for 8 hours that drained me the most. I've been sporadically studying for boards for a couple months, but after this weekend I really got a taste of how much I have forgotten from just last year! AHHHH! I have work to do. I still have time but I'm slowly getting more overwhelmed with the massive amount of information I need to get in my brain by June 21st. To put is simply, this was me after this past weekend:

But its ok...its no different than triathlon or marathon training...just need to set the goal and have discipline...let's hope my brain responds as well as my body haha.

In training news...the race is in 19 days!! Eeeek! I always go through this "right before the race" anxiety thing. I get anxious that i'm not prepared and just freak out about it. It always happens, I know when its going on, so i've gotten somewhat good at keeping my freaking out in check. I went on a 16 mile run today and it was, well, not so good. Mostly my fault because I forced myself to go despite feeling somewhat sick and dehydrated. Also, 21-35pmh winds in what seemed like EVERY DIRECTION was just making me mad. I just keep telling myself that running hills against the wind is what is affecting my slower than normal times. It wasn't my best performance that's for sure, but I'm glad I got it in. I AM TIRED though...

Only one more long (22mi) run left before the race! I feel a little frustrated, excited, and anxious...i hope that averages out to being ready? In the end, despite my cursing and anxiety that makes me swear i'll never race again... I'll run, do fine, smile through the finish and sign up for the next triathlon/marathon the next day!

This last 7 weeks in Kirksville is a sprint to the finish though...I'm a distance runner, not a sprinter. But I'm happy to be approaching another transition point in my life. I can't wait to see what comes next and how these next couple years in AZ go. Until then, its studying, training, and making the best of Kirksville while I can...just doing what I do with a smile on my face!

Reunited with my fire...

Gust
Sometimes the wind is against me.
I breathe it only because I have to.
I suck it in and spit it out cursing.
But today we’re going the same way.
And it’s everything I can do
To stay on the ground.
I am what I am
Rbk

After a week vacation in FL full of relaxation, family, friends, and fun, I'm back in Missouri...and ready to take on the days (training and school) with the same drive I used to have. The past month or so of my marathon training has been a struggle. Med school was well, being med school, and it seemed like it was taking all of the energy I had. So when I'd gear up for a long run, I wasn't performing like I normally do...very frustrating. As stubborn and competitive as I am, this pushed me harder. I sort of have a love-hate relationship with this stubborn and driven attitude of mine...it pushes me to strive for more...but also leads me down the path of injury more often than I'd like. Luckily I've gotten MUCH better at listening to my body over the years, but sometimes my stubbornness and I disagree. For the past month and a half we've been fighting about a couple injuries I've endured during my marathon training. A knee injury and severe muscle strain that wouldn't let me run more than 3 miles without feeling as if my calf was going to expode... I continued to run with these injuries for as long as I could (i know not a smart idea).

So by the end of the academic quarter (about a week ago) I was absolutely exhausted from studying around the clock, trying to run hard on an empty tank, being frustrated with my performances, fighting to run through my injuries, and trying to find motivation in this state of "zombie" I was in.

Then it was time for my week vacation...woohooo! I thought I would have great, looong, runs on the beach and really pull myself out of this training rut I was in. I did not like feeling like running was a chore, but that's the state I was in. I NEEDED a break...and i got it! So contrary to my vacation training plan...I only got in 12 miles!! (i had planned at least a 30 mile week!) This was frustrating in itself but I was able to sit back and FINALLY realize that i needed rest, actual no crazy running rest. (my old idea of rest was 6 mile runs instead of 10 milers) So, I enjoyed the beach, walked along the board walk (its difficult for me to just walk along the beach), and told myself to RELAX.

So here I am, 1 week later, back in the midwest, far away from the warm beaches of miami...and despite the fact that the thought of taking almost 1 week off training scares me...I feel great! I saw the above advertisement for Reebok shoes and it just got pumped up! It confirmed that I've found my fire again..no more zombie for me! My injuries are resolved for the most part (hopefully) and I'm refreshed and ready to take on the cold and wind again (running in kirksville, MO is always terribly cold and windy). School, training and the daily goals start back up again tomorrow. The race is in about a month and I'm confident that my training up until now, including my break, and these next four weeks of refinement runs will prepare me for St. Louis.

I've found my fire again!!!! Ready to finish up training for 26.2...and really start the training for 70.3!

Photo summary of my week in Florida...

My Abbey playing at the beach

Lincoln Road music- South Beach











South Beach

Disney Magic

St Louis St. Patty's day run!

A great vacation...back to the grind on Monday...back to coffee shop studying all day and night, running in the cold weather, and living the life of a medical student!

Ready for break...

This is what I hope to be waking up to for the majority of the next week! Quite the change from Kirksville. The beach is probably my favorite place to be for many reasons. It's great for different reasons morning, noon, and night.

Tomorrow is the last final of the quarter and I'm ready for a break! Motivation is running low (as you can tell i'm blogging the night before a big final and I don't seem to care) and I miss being warm. The weather in MO kills me. I'm looking forward to:

-sandals
-beach runs (praying my stupid leg is better by sunday)
-family
-friends
-sushi!
-waking up to the ocean
-not waking up and having my first thought be "what do i have to study today?"
-taking pictures
-returning to kirksville for the LAST QUARTER of 2nd year!

...but I'm the most excited to see

MY ABBEY GIRL!!!!!!!

Don't mind me...

This injury is commonly the result of quick sprints while running. With a muscle strain, there is localized tenderness or a “bulge” more commonly at the inner region of the back of the leg. The pain is aggravated by walking, descending stairs, or raising the heel of the affected leg off the ground.

This picture and caption are my nemesis at the moment...except my red painful dot is on the lateral part of the muscle. I have no idea what I did to my leg...but it is angry, and I am too a little. Last I knew I was taking a short easy 6 mile recovery run and next thing I remember I couldn't walk normally! I'm sure my 2 days of "rest" (one of those days i led a spin class) was not the best idea before going back out and trying to "push through" it. BUT not to worry, that leg let me know 2 miles into my run yesterday that it was still pissed off, thanks leg, got it. And of course I got rained on as if my frustration wasn't high enough...freezing cold rain, in the eyes, calf muscle that felt like it was about to explode, awesome. I guess i'm going to have to really rest for the next few days whether I like it or not, i listen to my body (when it gets really bad) i swear! Who convinced me to run a marathon again?? (oh yea, myself...doh!)

But maybe this a good thing. Blessing in disguise? I need to be actually studying for my finals this week, not worrying about how many miles I'll get in. Especially considering my performance on that 100 drug list, 40 question pharmacology final yesterday wasn't exactly "stellar".

And to top it all off, its supposed to get down to 0 degrees tonight!! Really?!?! It is insane how the weather can change my demeanor and make my day either really awesome...or just as grey as the clouds. Today has been just as sucky as the gusty wind, on and off annoying rain, and freezing temperature :-( The end of the quarter always puts people on edge and makes me just want to scream at the most insiginificant things. Like for example, there not being an English Toffee coffe today at my studying spot/2nd home in Kirksville, Java Company. I study there 6 out of 7 days a week, atmosphere is great, people are nice, internet is free, AND i can control the fireplace next to my studying table (yes i claim this as my table.) I arrived there today after already having a blah morning and being put on edge by all the crazy 1st year med students FREAKING OUT everywhere about finals and limping through the parking lot in my white coat ready to have some awesome English toffee coffee, my new favorite... Only to be told, the last cup was given out to the guy right before me and they were out!!!!! This seems silly and insigificant to get angry about...but when you are severely sleep deprived, limping through seas of stressed out melodramatic med students, angry that its finals week and you can't run away your frustrations, and of course FREEZING your butt off (this is a constant with me)...not having your comfort coffee in your comfortable study spot is a big deal that throws everything off!! Ok i'm breathing haha, don't worry. We'll just say that my day, has been one of my "not so good" days...one of those that creeps up on you without warning days. BUT thankfully, tomorrow is another day! (hopefully with a stellar performance on pathology)

But don't mind me, I'm just complaining.... :-P

Cheesecake overload!

So rather than study for finals week like a good med student, I rebelled tonight and cooked a large meal AND baked! (i'm not much of a baker so this is a big step for me) The cheesecake cookie cakes came out well...now only to resist the urge to eat all 24 of them!

Motivation is running low going in to finals week, that can't be a good thing. And also, 100 drugs to learn for a 40 question pharmacology final on Monday ( i know about 15 of the drugs right now) really doesn't make sense to me. I find it amazing how much material I have forgotten since the beginning of medical school. Almost feels like I've forgotten more than I've learned...hmmmm, again, can't be a good thing. Ahhh the joys of medical school and trying to cram ridiculous amounts of material into your brain only to forget it the next day. Such is life...I love it!

Work out for the day:

Thunderstorms all day + pulled my calf muscle running yesterday= no run today

INSTEAD i convinced the club to let me lead 90 min spin class....good workout, not so good calf muscle :-(

Back to the grind on Monday *sigh*...how many more days until Arizona???

Sir, Sir...Are you ok?????

Today was the first day in ACLS that we had to lead codes...a very scary thing for me. Granted, we were sort of just practicing and there were 8 of us helping eachother out...I don't even know what it is about a heart monitor that erases people's and my memory. Just to give you an idea of the setting...simulated ER bay, crash cart, monitor, plastic dummy that can display all kinds of vitals (they can even tell you to go away!), mirrored windows for our evaluators to laugh at us, and my favorite....an arm in a large sink across the room (for the IV's) So ok, not THE MOST realistic setting, but still can be scary when you're fake patient stops breathing and you have several sets of eyes waiting for you to give orders. Maybe its just that I actually picture these exact scenarios happenning to me in a few months on rotations...it would happen to me, always in the right place at the wrong time, its just my terrible luck, ahhhh.

Oh well, I'm just trying to pick up as much as I can from these dummy's (the actual medical dummy's not my professors) while I'm here and hope I'm at least somewhat aware of how the heck running a code is supposed to go, oh and for sure I must remember not to run to the nearest sink looking for a random arm to start an IV. Also, I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to talking to a plastic man without feeling weird and laughing at myself. If anything, I can always take my acls prof's advice and "pretend i see nothing and sneak out of the room slowly"....kidding, but seriously.

Work out status

Today:

Lead 50 minute spin class:

Intervals: 30 and 45s intervals for 25 mins
Hills: alternate gradual and steep, 80% of max, 25 mins

Short and easy LE lift, trying to beef up my hamstrings to help with the running.

Yesterday:

Low intensity 6mi (which turned into a slow 5 mi) to loosen up the legs from the 15mi on Sunday. Wind was terrible and just made me angry. Running is getting to be more of a chore right now than an enjoyment, perhaps i have mid training depression? I need to get over it soon though and avoid the temptation to substitute riding or swimming for the crucial runs, well just until April 19th! My sights are already on SOMA 70.3!

I wish I had more time to work out, dang medical school...taking a test every other day is getting quite old. We should be given the title of professional test takers, seriously.

What makes people tic??

I've been thinking about this lately, but more so today for some reason. What drives people to be rude, sincere, weird, funny, etc....? Why are some people just great people all the time, no matter what, and why are other awful people all the time? Is it that some people are just inherently bad people, or great people? I'm not really sure. I'll share my thoughts later tonight.....but for now I have to study (story of my life!)

I despise running in the cold...

Sunday run: 14 miles, 9's for the first 10 mi, 10's for the last 4. Overal--it was just an OK run, didn't feel as strong as I would have liked.

Hamstrings were extremely tight today and it was COLD, 12 degree COLD. (the 14 mph wind didn't help either) My knee is doing much much better now. My new problem is my left hamstring, i'm probably overcompensating, but I can't seem to run more than 5 miles without feeling it ball up.
I'm thinking that the cold weather really attributes to my muscle aches late in the run. After about an hour, the sweat on my clothes and hair just freezes, and so do I. I keep running to stay warm but I can feel my legs getting cold and muscles getting tight. I'm SO ready for this winter to be over! Who in their right mind gets up on the weekends and runs in the single digits for 2 hours???? I should get my head examined.

I'm ready for my beach runs in MIAMI, FLORIDA!!! (2 weeks!!)