Sunday, March 22, 2009

Reunited with my fire...


Gust
Sometimes the wind is against me.
I breathe it only because I have to.
I suck it in and spit it out cursing.
But today we’re going the same way.
And it’s everything I can do
To stay on the ground.

I am what I am
Rbk

After a week vacation in FL full of relaxation, family, friends, and fun, I'm back in Missouri...and ready to take on the days (training and school) with the same drive I used to have. The past month or so of my marathon training has been a struggle. Med school was well, being med school, and it seemed like it was taking all of the energy I had. So when I'd gear up for a long run, I wasn't performing like I normally do...very frustrating. As stubborn and competitive as I am, this pushed me harder. I sort of have a love-hate relationship with this stubborn and driven attitude of mine...it pushes me to strive for more...but also leads me down the path of injury more often than I'd like. Luckily I've gotten MUCH better at listening to my body over the years, but sometimes my stubbornness and I disagree. For the past month and a half we've been fighting about a couple injuries I've endured during my marathon training. A knee injury and severe muscle strain that wouldn't let me run more than 3 miles without feeling as if my calf was going to expode... I continued to run with these injuries for as long as I could (i know not a smart idea).

So by the end of the academic quarter (about a week ago) I was absolutely exhausted from studying around the clock, trying to run hard on an empty tank, being frustrated with my performances, fighting to run through my injuries, and trying to find motivation in this state of "zombie" I was in.

Then it was time for my week vacation...woohooo! I thought I would have great, looong, runs on the beach and really pull myself out of this training rut I was in. I did not like feeling like running was a chore, but that's the state I was in. I NEEDED a break...and i got it! So contrary to my vacation training plan...I only got in 12 miles!! (i had planned at least a 30 mile week!) This was frustrating in itself but I was able to sit back and FINALLY realize that i needed rest, actual no crazy running rest. (my old idea of rest was 6 mile runs instead of 10 milers) So, I enjoyed the beach, walked along the board walk (its difficult for me to just walk along the beach), and told myself to RELAX.

So here I am, 1 week later, back in the midwest, far away from the warm beaches of miami...and despite the fact that the thought of taking almost 1 week off training scares me...I feel great! I saw the above advertisement for Reebok shoes and it just got pumped up! It confirmed that I've found my fire again..no more zombie for me! My injuries are resolved for the most part (hopefully) and I'm refreshed and ready to take on the cold and wind again (running in kirksville, MO is always terribly cold and windy). School, training and the daily goals start back up again tomorrow. The race is in about a month and I'm confident that my training up until now, including my break, and these next four weeks of refinement runs will prepare me for St. Louis.


I've found my fire again!!!! Ready to finish up training for 26.2...and really start the training for 70.3!


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