So it's Friday night and I had intended to get much studying done since I know I won't get much done this weekend. I did some, but I was distracted by thinking about the race on sunday!! I'm spazing out about it for a few reasons. 1. I'm a spaz in general, so it just makes sense. 2. I have terrible race anxiety, this is a big race for me, and I really hope to make my training worthwhile. 3. The weather is calling for thunderstorms!!! (as if running 26 miles isn't difficult in itself)
So rather than school this morning, i spent my time reviewing the course, making up some playlists (yes i'm that person who runs with my ipod), giving myself pep talk after pep talk, and making sure i have everything ready to go for the big day. But I'm finding it tough not to get anxious. I know I'll finish, even if I have to crawl (or swim) across the finish line. I think I'm just very anxious because this race means a lot to me. My motivation for running here comes from several things that have happened in the past year. I sort of look at it as my "redeeming run". Things in the past year have made these first 2 years in medical school the happiest and saddest of times for me. I've learned A LOT about myself, my goals, and just life in general. Training in itself has given me the time to reflect and just grow stronger. Although I'm really nervous, I know that I've sort of already accomplished a great thing. I've gotten out there day after day in the freezing cold and wind, fit in short and long runs in every bit of free time I have, traded runs for naps, and gotten used to being tired. The run on Sunday will just be another run, my last long run (until the next race), to finish off what I started. I'm very competivite by nature so part of my anxiety is that I won't perform to the level that I want to. But honestly, this race isn't about that for me. I'm not a marathon girl, i've accepted that. This race is more about the journey rather than the time. I plan to enjoy everystep (this might be difficult after mile 20) and take in every second. This run is actually nothing compared to the marathon that I've been a part of in the past couple years here. But for once, I'm running all for me, to my own music.
So I'm actually very excited to do work on Sunday and cross this one off the list. I just think its funny that I start up doing all these triathlons and marathons during the busiest time of my life so far, medical school. I guess we never really know what we're capable of unless we push our own limits. And mine certainly have been pushed, whether I've liked it or not. But I'm confident that I've made the best of it and that Sunday will just be a testament that motivation is an amazing thing.
Ready or not, here I GO....Wish me luck!
So rather than school this morning, i spent my time reviewing the course, making up some playlists (yes i'm that person who runs with my ipod), giving myself pep talk after pep talk, and making sure i have everything ready to go for the big day. But I'm finding it tough not to get anxious. I know I'll finish, even if I have to crawl (or swim) across the finish line. I think I'm just very anxious because this race means a lot to me. My motivation for running here comes from several things that have happened in the past year. I sort of look at it as my "redeeming run". Things in the past year have made these first 2 years in medical school the happiest and saddest of times for me. I've learned A LOT about myself, my goals, and just life in general. Training in itself has given me the time to reflect and just grow stronger. Although I'm really nervous, I know that I've sort of already accomplished a great thing. I've gotten out there day after day in the freezing cold and wind, fit in short and long runs in every bit of free time I have, traded runs for naps, and gotten used to being tired. The run on Sunday will just be another run, my last long run (until the next race), to finish off what I started. I'm very competivite by nature so part of my anxiety is that I won't perform to the level that I want to. But honestly, this race isn't about that for me. I'm not a marathon girl, i've accepted that. This race is more about the journey rather than the time. I plan to enjoy everystep (this might be difficult after mile 20) and take in every second. This run is actually nothing compared to the marathon that I've been a part of in the past couple years here. But for once, I'm running all for me, to my own music.
So I'm actually very excited to do work on Sunday and cross this one off the list. I just think its funny that I start up doing all these triathlons and marathons during the busiest time of my life so far, medical school. I guess we never really know what we're capable of unless we push our own limits. And mine certainly have been pushed, whether I've liked it or not. But I'm confident that I've made the best of it and that Sunday will just be a testament that motivation is an amazing thing.
Ready or not, here I GO....Wish me luck!
You will rock!...have lots of fun! and ill pray for good weather for you...
ReplyDeletegood luck!!
Lil sap