The highlights of my surgery rotation at Maricopa Medical Center aka "da copa"

I've been meaning to post this but I always forget!

So for the past year I've kept a little notebook of thoughts/quotes/ideas/tricks that I learn on each rotation. I write down things, not really notes, but things that I learn from and go back to. Whether its a new enema recipe that I hear an old doc talk about that works every time for ileus or constipation(yes this is cool to me), or a moment that I really don't want to forget, or just some funny quotes from patients, I write it down because I want to look back years from now and hopefully bring back some humility. I want to know that even if i gear towards being a "know it all" doc or even somewhat cynical, i still can remind myself that I was not so savy once and to not lose sight of the little things that really matter and where I really started. Ok so anyway, this post is just to share some of those quotes that i wrote down....

In the ER:

Chief complaint- testicular pain/infection
Pt with testicular abscess: "Doc I'm pretty sure one of my hoe's gave me the shit!"
Me: "We're talking about your testicle right?"


Chief complaint- possible small bowel obstruction
Me: "Do you have any history of high blood sugar or do you take insulin?"
Pt who is barely awake: "no, i've never been sick"
Pt's brother: " She's been great, her sugar was a solid 379 this morning, like it always is"
Me: "........."

Chief complaint- rectal bleeding
Me: "has this ever happened to you before?"
Pt who is clearly is too high to remain awake: "oh no, i'm very healthy, not one health problem"
Me: "hmm, what color was the blood?"
Pt, awake again: "oh here, i saved a clot for you so you could see it!!" [shoves tissue with blood clot in my face]
Me: [trying not to vomit] "that's ok, i really don't need to see it....."
[I stepped out after doing her physical and read in her chart that she has HEP C, she's MRSA+, and positive for every illicit drug on the planet almost. Nope, not one health problem!!]


On the Med Surg Floor:

Chief complaint: leg abscess
Pt who made it through the ER fast because she was demanding surgery on her leg abscess: "Hey doc i just need you guys to go in and drain my site, it's infected again, and it's my only site left"
Chief resident: "Site? you mean your shin?"
Pt: "yea if you don't do it tonight I'll go through withdrawals again, that's how I wound up in the ER, and I really don't like shooting up in my neck"
Chief resident: "ok well thanks for your honesty!"

S/P diverting loop colostomy
Me: "how are you doing this morning? how is that colostomy coming along?"
Pt with Stage IV colon cancer: "well, if i have to have to wake up to talk to people about my shit at 5am, I'd rather it be with pretty girls like you, at least I know if this doesn't scare you away, I still have hope"
Me: "It takes more than some shit in a bag to scare me away..."
Pt: "well I've got a lot of shit..."
[he was my favorite patient] :-)


S/P perineal reconstruction with abdominal flap and total proctocolectomy aka a huge operation and she almost died
Pt, 3 days out of surgery: "I'm going to be fine, don't worry"
Me [almost in tears that she is comforting me, came to tell her it was my last day of the rotation and I wouldn't see her again]: "It's my last day with you, but you have the best doctors taking care of you and you're going to do great"
Pt: "thank you for taking care of me, never give up, I love you"
Me: [balling my eyes out like an idiot]


Presentation in weekly Morbidity and Mortality conference [ this is where interns and residents present cases that had a negative outcome due to a preventable reason and they get torn a new one by the attendings, very scary]
Dr. O: [presents a case about a pt who had a tear in his esophagus repaired, and then had to return to the ED because the repair failed and tore open again] "the failure of the repair was due to the patients diet immediately post operatively"
Dr. G (an intern, not the sharpest tool in the shed): "actually, It wasn't Dr. O's fault, it was mine. I gave the pt a sandwich the following morning and asked him if it hurt. He said no, so I thought it was fine."
Attending Physicians: [first silence....then the lions unleashed and attacked poor Dr. G]
Dr. G: "...but it wasn't the whole sandwich, he just had a couple bites!!!"
*note to everyone- if you have a hole in your esophagus and then have it surgically repaired...DON'T EAT A SANDWICH THE NEXT MORNING!!!
*note to self- do not yell back at  your attendings when they are yelling at you during M&M...they WILL kill you. And if they don't, your fellow residents will.


So those are just a few of the quotes/moments from my rotation that I wrote down. It wore me out, made me cry, made me feel like I was dumber than a pre-schooler at times, and made me feel stronger than I ever imagined other times. It really is crazy how far we've come but even more crazy is how much more ground we still have to cover. I don't think it ever ends. Actually, I hope the learning and pushing limits never ends. Oh yea, and saving lives is pretty dang cool too...

I look at people's butts before 5am...

So it's been a while since I've written anything in my blog. I've been really busy! General Surgery at Maricopa Medical Center in downtown Phoenix takes up about 16 out of my 24 hrs in the day. Although I have to wake up at 2:45AM every day, drag myself out of bed, smell cauterized flesh and colostomy bags before breakfast, endure heartburn from endless coffee and no food until about 3pm...i'm loving the rotation! At first I was really unsure if I would enjoy it at all because I really didn't think I would enjoy surgery. I'm always cold, i can't stand for long periods of time, and I lose interest in a case after 2 hours, maybe that's just my ADD. But to be honest, it's been great. I love the satisfaction that you, the surgeon, are the one that does the final intervention. And it's not that I like the whole "I'm God" feeling at all, i think i have an aspect of my personality that wants to fix things...and as a surgeon, you do exactly that with your hands. But at the same time, I don't know that I like surgery enough to want to endure the residency/lifestyle. If I did do surgery, trauma surgery would probably be where I'd go, but that's just insane (which I am at times), but i'm still leaning towards ER, just ER.

So far i've learned so much on this rotation. Def learned stuff about medicine itself, but mostly I've learned about dealing with people. This is hospital is so big and busy all the time, people in the OR just move at a faster pace i think, well my team does. In the midst of all the bustling and million things that need to be done I've found myself easily forgetting about the patient itself. People are always paging, calling, ordering, yelling, etc. They always tell us in school to have compassion, sensitivity, always treat the patient how you would treat family. And i've always just thought "oh yea well duh, i'm not a jerk, i'm never going to forget to have compassion, etc etc etc..." But in the past 3 weeks alone i've had to catch myself and actively think to do all of those things they tell us in school. I find myself in the OR trying to get op notes, admit orders, set up the meds so fast so I can be more efficient and move on to the next case without delay. That's fine and all, but today I realized that i was just falling into a routine. A routine that really didn't include, make sure patient isn't afraid, and look for the little things that make a big difference (warm blankets, reassurance right before/after anesthesia, etc). When i'm in lecture its easy to say I'll do all of those things. But when you're in the OR and in that environment, I can see how people easily lose that aspect of medicine. I'm going to try my best to realize that now is the time to form the right habits and that no specialty is too busy to do the right thing and go that extra mile for the people we take care of.

On a more inspiring note, I almost cried today in front of a patient. Ms. AC is a 55 yo lady who weighs about 80lbs, has crohns disease with active colitis, the beginnings of colon cancer, and severe perirectal fissures and abscesses. She's in so much pain that she can barely move when I see her at 4am everyday. She gets food by IV in addition to normal diet because she's so malnourished. Her eyes are sunken and her arms and hands are just bones with red nail polish. She is a very sick lady, but also one of the sweetest people I've met in a long time. She will most likely need her colon removed along with the region of skin and muscle around her rectum and will need subsequent reconstruction of her anal canal, and chemotherapy, which may only make her worse. She has a very rough road ahead of her. All that being said, I went to see her today in the evening before I left to explain the surgery plan. I explained the entire extreme plan, the risks, possible consequences which, to me, makes me cringe just thinking about the recovery and overall outsome.  And after I got done telling her what seemed to be like torture, all she said was this "vayamos todos adelante, nunca para atras".  It means "let us move forward, never backwards".  Even after I told her that she mght die from the surgery and treatment to try to save her life, she just smiled and still was positive. She then said "I could cry, but for what?" I felt the tears sort of welling up in my eyes as I just looked at what almost looked like a skeleton smiling back at me. I was thinking "i hope that I one day have as much strength as this lady". It's remarkable how some people are resilient beyond belief and no matter what, remain hopeful and strong throughout. They're the ones I really love to serve everyday. And then you get those people that don't appreciate anything you do, only complain, and make decisions to worsen their condition everyday. I don't think I'll even understand it and it really frustrates me. But if for every 20 frustrating patients, there's just 1 patient like Ms. AC, that's good enough for me.

So, my surgery rotation is awesome overall. I'm amazed my the dynamics of personalities, perspectives on life, and just plain old social skills that some people lack. But more than anything, I'm learning that no matter how big, how smart, how awesome I think I am, I will never be above doing the little things, i guess it's that extra mile that really matters in the end.

Bed time for me...i have bellies to push on and colostomies to check in the morning!!!

Weekend...

So, its Sunday and I'm just as tired as I was on fri after work! How did that happen? I did a lot this weekend. Went to the gator bar on saturday with mike, mara, rohan, ali and others to watch the gators kick butt, it was fun, always is. After eating out weight in nachoes, chips, wings, and skillet cookie and ice cream we went back to mara's to work on a med school thing...it turned into this:

Yea...we got distracted with my photobooth program on my mac lol. 

I got a chance to go to the AZ cardinals game this weekend which was pretty fun...my first NFL game!! Tailgating and eating junk food was pretty awesome. I also learned that I'm good at ladder ball! The only bad thing was that it took about 8 hours out of my sunday, which i'm sure could have been used for studying, oh well. 

This next week is my last week in OB! I'm a little sad but I'm looking forward to not being sooo busy all the time and def not driving so far everyday! I'm going broke (more than i already am) driving to Sun City West! Surgery at County hospital is next. I hear its long hours on your feet, which i hate, but cool experience, which i love! I'm not into being a surgeon, but I am looking forward to learning how to be better at tieing sutures. Hopefully it's not a crazy month. 

In other news, I was kind of let down by somebody this weekend. Nothing serious really, but it blows my mind how some people can fool you into thinking they're somebody they're not. You'd think we'd see it coming? I guess it comes with time, and then again maybe it won't. I really do try to give people every benefit of the doubt but sometimes that comes back to bite me. I've definitely stopped being as naive as I used to be, but a part of me I feel like is too trusting sometimes. I guess I'd rather be trusting while still being cautious and get fooled from time to time than be completely cynical towards people. It's tough to find a balance though when you feel like the number of "good people" you know is decreasing all the time.  So i'm still not that cynical people hater that thinks people are jerks, but I'm def very very cautious. 

Here's my song for the night. 

Imogen Heap- First Train home

"...what matters to you, doesn't matter to me..."

I seem to know nothing...

My Ob/Gyn rotation has been pretty awesome so far. I love the mix of surgery and clinic experience along with the continuity of care. But probably my favorite thing is that your patients look forward to seeing you. The tone is very different in OB and for the most part, you bring good news everyday. It's def my second choice, after ER. I still stay true to my ER :-)

So as we go on all of these different rotations and learn so much more everyday...I still feel overwhelmed on the days when I hit the wall. The wall that is the limit of my knowledge that really makes it clear how much more learning I have to do, and how little I still know. As med students we can learn pretty quick and adapt to a new skill after a couple of tries, but today, I couldn't help but feel like "holy crap, will I ever be good at this?!"

I was put in charge of a delivery, with the doc watching over me of course. I had to coach mom through breathing and pushing...luckily she was a G5P4 and it took all of 2 pushes to get the baby out. But the scary part came when the doc told me to think through it and get the baby out on my own.  So there I was trying to count and freak out at the same time. The head crowns and I"m thinking ok no big deal, check for nuchal cord, suction baby, pull down for shoulder, pull up for next shoulder.....of course this one was difficult. The baby had a VERY TIGHT nuchal cord that i couldn't reduce and i looked at the doc and he looked at me like "ok what do you now??" In addition to freak out, i gave him the "holy crap you actually meant i'm really doing this on my own" look back. So when I asked about all of the things i could maybe do to release this cord and got the answer "try it", I got the impression he wanted to see me struggle. So, tight cord, doesn't reduce, i try to just get the baby out. In a quick thought I looked at the doc and asked if i could just cut the cord...but of course, "no don't even think about it!"  Crap.  After a few seconds, that felt like 5 hours, of "thinking" my way through the delivery, baby slides out and was fine. A little quiet at first because of the cord, but overall baby is good and I'm drenched in sweat! The doc tells me I did a good job and says "ok now the hard part"...repairing the secondary laceration...awesome, as if i wasn't already shaky!  

Anyway, after all of that I'm pretty relieved that it went well and actually grateful that doc made me sweat a little. The toughest part of this stage in the game is thinking on our feet, well for me it is.  It's like all my knowledge gets erased, i freak out, and I seem to know nothing anymore...its all gone in an instant, just blank. I might as well be drooling lol. So i really appreciate it when docs make an effort to show us how to think in crazy situations. Even if i'm not going into OB, it's a great skill to be able to step back in your mind and think through a problem with all the information floating around in your head. Woman screaming, monitors beeping, nurses asking questions, doc staring at me, blood everywhere, vagina tearing...it was stressful!! And through all of that, i'm supposed to be calm?? I guess the more you do it, the easier it gets to drown out everything but your thought process. One day I'll be able to do that...hopefully sooner than later. And hopefully that feeling of "holy crap I know nothing", starts fading.  But until then, baby steps, trying not to let a pimp question erase my memory of

everything i've learned!

Thoughts of the night...

Since my last post things have been great! I started ob/gyn, which I have to say, I love! 70.3 is finished!! That was a huuge relief and great accomplishment I'm so happy I achieved.  It was a big goal of mine and I actually surprised myself at how easily (i use that word loosely) I did it! Aside from the physical work that it obviously took, I'm more proud that I did it all on my own. That was one thing I wanted to prove to myself that I could do, train for that race alone and be self-motivated. Many days it was very very difficult to get up and go when i was the only one I had to answer to. It was just a race, but it really showed me that I could be self-motivated enough to do something I never imagined I could do. I figure that no matter who you have on your side rooting for you, at the end of the day, we always answer to ourselves. It's really important for me to know that no matter what I'm doing, where I am, or who I'm with that I can set a goal and reach it all by myself, if necessary. Granted, I had great support from friends and family...but again, in the end, for 6.5 hrs, it was just me and my thoughts on that course.  I like to think this goes for a lot of things in life. No matter how much support you have, the only person you can always rely on is yourself. So, great things came out of that race, definitely more than just a good workout! Since then I'm just learning from that day and figuring out where I go now. 140.6 is a far ways away...or is it?? I'm still trying to figure that out. I do know that I need to stay focused on the big picture right now and all things come in due time. I know that I WILL do 140.6 one day, that I'm sure of. But for now I think I'll just keep at this level of competition, focus on school and wait for when the time feels right for 140.6, no rush.

So another thing this race was for me was that it brought me to a different level, change.  It brought a new outlook on many things and took me out of my comfort zone and set a whole new one for me. I'm ready now to be more open to a lot of things I was really hesitant about. I guess you can say I'm ready to let go of old comforts and really try to reach for things I never really let myself consider. It's not as easy as it sounds, but every step forward, even with a few steps backwards, is progress!

This song puts it well...

Changes coming soon!

So now that I've completed my list (minus 1) of races...i need to start over! I'm a little behind i updating my life status...rotations are keeping me busy!! No worries, its coming. All new races, goals, perspective, etc. So, i won't say much now but new things/blog changes are coming soon! Stay tuned...! :-)

The man who taught me everything about schizophrenia...

So my rotation at the VA on inpatient mental health ward is coming to an end tomorrow. I'm not really sad, it's basically been your run of the mill PTSD, depression, anxiety, adjustment disorder with your occasional shizophrenia. The guys, I say guys because I think i saw one woman all month, have been cool. Some bang their heads against walls, some poop on the floor, some think its funny to charge at staff, and some, to my entertainment, spend their days sliding across the floor in their socks (they aren't allowed to have shoes). But of all the patients, none have taught me more about psych than my schizophrenic friend, we'll call him David.

David is over 50, talks in code languages, walks about 15-20 miles in a day if we let him around the ward, wears glasses with one lens, calls me judge judy, tells me to jump out of the window just about daily, will only wear unmatched socks, and carries around a curious george doll everywhere he goes. He is pleasant most of the time (as long as he has george), very intelligent, and is really harmless...he's just very psychotic. On a daily basis he asks me about my fishing trips, tells me he bought me a white horse, and tried to convince me that barak obama has given him kingship of the country and he can leave the ward...at the very least he's a break from all of the PTSD and depression. He's crazy, but he's happy, and I love that. So now that psych is over i think about what I've learned and he is def somebody I will never forget and he's taught me a lot about mental health in general. It's crazy to think I've learned more from the most psychotic man on the ward than I have from my preceptor. I would thank david for his help, but he'd probably respond in "our" code language that i'm apparently supposed to understand but I don't lol. So I guess I'll just shake his hand and thank him for the horse!

My interview with David today:

Me: David, can you tell me why you refused your valproic acid this morning?

David: "It makes me upset..."

Me: Can you describe how it makes you feel specifically? Headaches, dizzy...?

David: "Let me show you..."(proceeds to rip the head off of curious george doll, while making loud sound effects, stomps on it and throws it against the wall)"....that's pretty much how I feel"

Me: ummmmmm...(trying not to laugh hysterically)...I think I need you to give me curious george now.

Poor curious george.

Day by day...

It's been a while since I posted something...I've been busy! Psych at the VA isn't too much at the moment actually. It's quite entertaining most days and other days its really eye opening at how devastating psychological problems can be. I can say that i DO NOT want to be a psychiatrist but it is very interesting. I just don't think I have the patience to deal with schizophrenia and depression everyday without developing some component of the disease myself. I've been there 2 weeks and I think I have panic disorder from being around some of the patients. It is a cool rotation and I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Especially when I'm told to jump out the window, stop forging signatures, stop being a spy, and to stop torturing the kids. Yes, I have been told by my one schizophrenic patient to do/not do all of the above things!

If there is one thing that I am learning at the VA, it's how terrible the current war is affecting the young soldiers, and that makes me sad. I don't like talking to guys 3 years older than me about their PTSD from when they watched mass casualties. I guess since I'm going to be part of the military, as a doc, its good to know what my potential patients are dealing with. But its still sad nonetheless.

On a lighter note, SOMA is in 2 weeks!!! AHHHHH!!! Freak out mode began again today when I watched the St. Croix 70.3 on TV....idk why, but i got scared! I was doing so well with my confidence and knowing that ready or not, I was gonna do fine. Plus, I never consider myself "ready" for anything...i usually just do it and decide later. I just really need to make sure I have everything taken care of with my bike and prep plans for the tri. This is a big race and i would hate for something to go wrong that I could've prevented because I'm still somewhat of a beginner. So, this next week is going to be my last hammer week of training, I have to make the most of it! I'm really anxious to do the race (not the pain part) and be done with it. It's been building up in my head for so long now, i'm finally ready to conquer it and focus on the next thing!

Funny note: my cousin and I have agreed to try a 1 month trial on yahoo personals together. Mainly to get funny stories at the ridiculousness of online dating, but also to perhaps make new friends in the area. Watch I'm going to manage to find the strangest/craziest guys....story of my life! lol Anyway, I'm pretty much over going out to clubs and staying out late and playing dress up to meet guys. Most of the time the guys you meet out are less than impressive to say the least. Also it could be cuz i'm a lamo and enjoy going to bed at 10pm on sat nights so i can get up and ride in the gorgeous AZ weather or do something else fun outdoors. That is way more appealing to me than being hung over and sleeping till noon. I swear there has to be guys out there that enjoy that....right???

I'm in no real rush anyway, just going one day at a time and hopefully letting things work themselves out. This is one of my favorite songs that in my head right now, of course its on Grey's, not to be girly cheesy again....

interesting dialogue

A real dialogue I had today that could be totally misunderstood if not in the context of a radiology reading room :

Dr. K: So i'm just going to look at breasts for the next few hours, that might be boring for you, I usually sit in the back room and do it alone.

Me: Oh ok, should I wait and just come back after lunch?

Dr. K: Yea it could take a while.

Emo Post...

I feel like this song today...even with the Grey's Anatomy clips. 

So as with everything, there are the good days and the not so good days. Today was a not so good day for me. I started radiology today and it wasn't the rotation itself that made the day not so good...just the beast that is the medical world that made things kind of difficult. I was talking to my cousin about this the other day and today it was just confirmed

Sometimes the world seems really out of balance and like there is no reasonable explanation for things. Example,

the patient that does countless harmful things to their own bodies and others but seem to always catch a break. Despite their bad habits

and just flat out being a bad person, they're healthy, able to continue ruining themselves and other with their bad decisions for years to come. . And then there's the

patient that has worked very hard his entire life to make an honest living, provide for his family, and be the best

husband, son, and dad he can be...he get's stage 4 cancer at the age of 42 and only has 3 months to live. I know

life isn't fair and sometimes things just "are". We can't change it or explain it. But in my case, maybe because I'm still

"green" as they say, it gets to me. I sometimes get a little sad when I take a step back and really see what I'm doing in

all of these hospitals I go through. In the same hour, I could be wheeling a single mom, with nobody to say good bye to her

back to the OR for yet another surgery to add to her list of battles against her aggressive breast cancer and trying to

explain to a completely healthy (physically) 28 yr old that we will not give him any more xanax just because his "friend accidentally

threw them away". It often feels like our efforts as medical people are being wasted. In the end, some of the

best people can't be helped, no matter how hard they fight, and some of the worst people, will never truly know what it's like to fight for their life.

Other than some bad news about a family friend and an difficult patient today, nothing happened specifically to

make me feel sad really, just one of those days I guess. And although there are depressing things going on everyday

in the world, not just in the hospital...most of my days are still good! I still love it (maybe cuz I'm still green) and I

try to look at it like anything else in life...all about perspective. Things happen for a reason? Maybe, who knows. But

regardless of who we can or can't help, after a certain point, people die, they get cancer, little kids lives are cut short, its out of our hands. I'm somewhat of a control freak at times

so I don't like the concept of things being that way, but I'm working on accepting it. I do get emotional at times

with work and patients and stupid doctors, but I think recognizing these things is a good thing. If there's one point I

never hope I reach it's to be able to numb out all emotion for the myth of "it's part of the job to get used to it". For some reason

I was thinking that the emotion was the part of the job that made us all want to be in this profession.

Tomorrow's another day!

I feel old...

My favorite baby...esp when I need to get the chalk off my hands!
I'm not very good at bouldering

So, this weekend past labor day weekend was fun. It was relaxing, I got a lot done, and got to watch the Gators open what I know will be an awesome season.  The Chandler Gator club was a good time. It's great how you just feel a certain connection with people simply because they're wearing the same Tebow jersey as you. I literally talked to this couple like they were my best friends for 10 years....I only met them 5 minutes before kick off, it was awesome. 

For once (i broke down and didn't want to get crap from my friends for being "antisocial") I went out 2 nights in a row and skipped both of my morning rides, Strada and solo. I sort of get into a routine of not going out and getting up early for a long ride but I forget that its ok to miss a weekend, go out and have fun with friends. I'm glad I have friends that can remind me of this. However, when I do go out, I get tired around 11pm...unless of course I'm really having a good time with plenty of beers lol. I say I feel old though because I do get tired early and I'm usually the "mother" of the group/ DD. That is totally fine with me, just makes me feel like a soccer mom driving my kids around in my big SUV haha. 

But I also felt old this weekend after attending a Strada training seminar. I was always the kid that went to school and played sports...that was my life.  As we were going through the team's training plan for this season, I realized I was no longer one of the kids that just took the team schedule without a care that it would fit into my schedule. I was getting really excited about the different rides throughout the week until I realized, "oh wait...I'll be on Surgery that month, probably getting no sleep....how am I going to fit in 10 hours/week in the saddle???"  Although I've been in med school for 3 years now, it just now hit me that all the triathlon/training things I used to do revolve around my work/school schedule...like a real adult...ahhhh.  It sounds stupid for it to just be hitting me now, I've always put my school first. But I have never had a problem working the necessary cycling, running, swimming, whatever, into my schedule. I've never had to tell myself  "ok this month, I won't be able to work out, sleep comes first."  Then again, I'm also the stupid one who will sleep 4 hours just so i can go on a longer ride/run the next day...and then end up getting injured.  SO...i guess my "ahhhhhh" moment was good for me. I know I need to not put so much emphasis on triathlons and how behind i am in training and just accept that I'm doing my best to balance life. (I mean, who and I kidding, am i going to be a pro triathlete or cyclist?? Yea right!!) In my case that includes learning to be a doctor, a social person, a "for fun" triathlete, and all the other billion things I try to squeeze into my life!  

In other news...i'm getting really into rock climbing, its so much fun. I've got a sprint tri coming up in 3 weeks (ahh!), and half iron-man in about 2 months (double AHHHH!!). Oh and anesthesia is going well. I go to bed at 10pm, run in the mornings, intubate a few people everyday (or attempt to and fail miserably seems to be the trend), try not to break any teeth, eat the doctors lounge food, and pretend like I know what I'm doing, but we all know that 3rd year med students are generally clueless. 

SO...if me feeling old helps me put things in perspective and re-evaluate my priorities, I guess it's a good thing. I'm just afraid of the one day when I actually am old and I'm trying to feel young lol...

p.s. check me out at Strada racing  The pics are kinda corny and I have no bio cuz i haven't gotten around to thinking of anything wise...other than..." I LOVE BIKES!"  

Anesthesia..day 1

So I started anesthesia today...and all in all it was pretty cool.  I don't think I would ever want to go into anesthesia, but it is an interesting field. 

Things I learned:

1. Surgeons really are jerks and think they're God

2. Orthopods are even bigger jerks

3. People do crazy things when they wake up from anesthesia

4. Everything is about perspective

5. WEAR LONG SLEEVES CUZ ITS FREEZING IN THE OR!!!

6. Eat a snack after every surgery

7. Orthotics are NECESSARY!!

I'm' only here for a couple of weeks but it should be exciting to practice my skills. The docs I'm with are really awesome and said I can do as much as I want...that could be scary. 

Training is going ...ok. I'm struggling with my heels at the moment. I'm even debating getting x rays to make sure i don't have bone spurs...it hurts that bad. I'm hoping that this will i'll get used to the standing and the pain will ease up a bit. With that said....I'm off to run!

Weekend with Dad!

The weekend with my dad was pretty awesome! He was looking forward to it sooooooo much and we had a blast! Went hiking in Sedona, Westfork Trail, went on a good ride with Strada, pool, and just hung out together.  He LOVED Sedona (of course) and the hike. I hadn't been hiking here yet so it was a first for both of us. We went for about 4 hours through the creeks and mountains, it was pretty awesome. The ride was fun too...for the first time I beat my dad on the bike! Until this weekend...cycling was the one thing he could always show me up with...not anymore! :-) The highlight of his trip though was probably getting his computer. I got my old computer fixed (i bought a new mac) and gave it to him. He has been wanting a computer forever so it was nice to be able to do that for him. It was hilarious trying to teach him how to use the internet though...he still had trouble finding the keys on the keyboard. But now that he has that he'll be more with the times when it comes to technology. 

The intense running and transition training starts tomorrow with a 5am run. I've been neglecting the runs a bit so i can improve on my swimming and cycling. It's been going well, swimming is still my nemesis, but overall i'm doing much better. I've really got to make the best of the next 2 months because there's nothing worse than feeling like you could've trained more during a race...worst feeling ever. 

2 more weeks left in my FP rotation and I'm still LOVING it. We get a couple new students tomorrow at the office so that should be interesting to see...will they be tools? Statistics say yes...but hopefully they aren't too bad and the type of people who correct the doctor. 

Pics from the weekend! 

Dogs and babies!

This is my bff Rohan who I was babysitting on Sunday. We napped together...although the butt up position isn't as comfortable for me. Love that little guy. 

My abbers and me being a nerd taking pictures on our walk

Abbey and her new friend Jack Bauer (that's his real name) who we were watching for the weekend while Ricky was out of town

They love to pose

Ali's awesome veggie pizza that she made for her own birthday party

So the past week or so has been exciting. I started with a new doc last monday and i absolutely LOVE him! It's still FP which wasn't my cup of tea...but i have to say i've considered it since i've been with this new doc. Craziest/coolest thing i've done so far: removed a set of hemorrhoids without getting blood on my white coat! I did however manage to squirt enough blood to make the premed student shadowing us almost pass out, that was pretty awesome too, and hilarious.  But this doc is truly amazing. He just got back from Mt. kilimanjaro 2 weeks ago. He trekked up with a group of visually impaired people, and for the first time ever with a group that large, made it to the top all together! They set 3 world records and absolutely changed lives on that trip. 50% of unimpaired people fail when they attempt that trek! He does big things...he's pretty much my hero haha. On top of that, he's a phenomenal photographer! In between patients he teaches me a new cool trick on photoshop or how to do cool things with lighting. Have I mentioned that I like him? ok i'll stop. 

In other news...training is going well. I established heart rates with Strada this past weekend. LTHR is 168...ok i guess. It was my first time trial and i know I can get that HR down in no time. I need to start kicking the running up a notch...it's been taking the back seat to swimming and cycling. It's also been 200 degrees outside for 22 out of 24 hours in the day, so that sucks. I'm working on it though, no worries. 

My dad is coming in to town tomorrow! I'm excited to show him AZ! I'm even more excited to ride with him and the team. He's so excited that he calls me everyday to make sure he's not forgetting anything. Plans are to hike in Sedona, do a lot of riding, and just do what we do...which is usually workout lol. At least i won't get behind. I'll hve pics up of our adventures very soon! 

All in all life is good...pretending not to be breakable...

I am Murphey's Law...

A couple things from today:

I despise:

   - chief complaints of low back pain

   - when people refuse to let me examine them because I'm a female that "looks like I'm 15"

   - grumpy doctors

I love:

   - people that are active participants in improving their health

   - nice secretaries

   - docs that help me learn, rather than already expecting me to know everything (does anyone            ever know everything????

Today was going awesome until I decided to practice my surgitron ( mole removing tool, wire loop-esque) skills on a piece of meat. Doc was in a better mood today after I made him stay 20 mins past his quitting time to see a patient (God forbid). Well he was somewhat pleasant until I broke the stupid surgitron! I shoudl've known, I have such bad luck. I was cutting away...and the thing died!! Of course! As if he doens't already hate me, I made him stay late yesterday, and now I broke an expensive piece of his equipment. Granted, its like 600 years old (as is everything in his building), but it just figures I would be the last one to use it when it craps out. I wouldn't expect anything less...such is the story of my life. Even more awesome is that my eval is sitting on his desk waiting to be filled out!! Eek! 

By far my favorite pics from the Tour!

These are some of the BEST pics of the Tour that I've found so far...i love them! It makes me really want to travel to Europe AND get more serious into cycling and photography...all at the same time! I really need to rediscover my camera and take some shots really soon! Pictures of AZ are coming!

I watched the bachelorette finale tonight....and part of me wants to be all bubbly and girly and really believe that stuff like that really happens....and the other part of me wants to throw up all over the place! It's very fabricated love, mostly fake...but I still watch it and hope that some aspect of that "love" they find is real, maybe. Either way, its good entertainment haha. But in all seriousness, i'm not sure if i'm a total believer of the whole "true love" thing, not yet anyway. I'm sure the bachelorette would've been in "love" with someone else had that guy not gone on the show. Maybe that's just me being my usual cynical self...who knows. I guess i think everything happens for a reason, but that doesn't mean we can't alter outcomes ourselves. 

Anyway, today i realized the difference between a medical student/new doctor and a seasoned doctor. The new doctor/med student will accept appointments at 4:50 pm (day ending at 5:00pm) and stay later with no complaints. The seasoned doctor (or maybe just my preceptor) yells at the stupid student for taking appointments after 4:00pm and refuses to stay a minute after 5:00pm on the dot! Nonetheless, I took the patient and we were done at 5:25...i was not a popular girl today with the staff. But i don't really care...I hope I never get so desensitized to the point where I turn away patients because they take up 15 more minutes of my time than I had planned. Besides, isn't that the whole reason we signed up for this? 

Lazy weekend...boring post

It's sunday afternoon and I've enjoyed a rather relaxed weekend. I should have been more productive I'm sure, but I really wanted to see what being a "couch potato" really felt like. And I have to admit it makes me feel guilty. I've watched a couple movies, gone to bed early, and just basically mimicked what my abbey does all day. It's nice to relax...but I don't think I could ever be a couch potato. One weekend was good enough for me! 

Saw (500) Days of Summer yesterday....loved it!!! It was very creative yet simple and had a great story. There is only one place in Scottsdale that shows independent films so it was really packed. 

I got my bike re-fitted yesterday and what a difference! It feels like a new bike! I ended up not putting my aerobars on the bike because my frame is a weird height for them and unless I buy a new handlebar stem, the aerobars will be too high...bummer. Oh well, i can ride just as good without them, I just really like them. Maybe when I have money i can buy a sweet bike! For now, she does just fine for me. Coach and my dad are really trying to talk me into getting into track racing. I think I"d really love it. I actually might give it a shot come october when coach starts the season back up again. My limiting factor will always be time and money, so we'll see!

This next week is my last week at this FP rotation. I'm very excited to get out of there and be with a doc that enjoys teaching students. I have learned some, but it has been a rather frustrating month. It almost feels like I've been on an extended vacation. 1 more week!

Back to my couch potatoing...

 

"Hey Marvin, can u pass me the brain?"

Autopsy viewings were pretty cool today. I used to want to be a medical examiner when I was in high school. I love the mystery aspect of the job and how you have to solve the puzzle. But after seeing it today and how it all goes down....yea...I would never want that to be my daily job. At first it was a little shocking to see an empty chest just cracked open with organs sitting in a steel bucket the doc just slicing and dicing the liver, or whatever organ he was on. But after the first body, you kind of get used to it. We saw a couple of decomposing bodies and that just adds a whole other element of ghastliness, with the whole rotting flesh smell. They say you get used to it, but I'm pretty sure i don't want to be in any situations where I "get used to" the smell of rotten flesh and death, not so much, thanks. I guess my days of wanting to be Dana Scully from the x-files were a little far fetched lol. I just thought she was so cool and smart...AND her hair looked awesome during all of her autopsies. Knowing me, i'd get dead people blood all over my face cuz i had an itch in my eye haha. It is very interesting, to say the least, how the docs and forensic techs sort of dissociate themselved from the bodies. They joke and laugh and try to guess how people died or make up "alternative endigs" so to speak. And really, its no disrespect to the dead, they just have to find a way to not get bogged down with the death they see everyday. I can imagine if you don't lighten up, you won't make it very long.  

Total today, we saw 2 decomposing bodies that were found in the desert, a suspected drowning, a MVA, and a man found dead in a drop house, suspected overdose. I was actually a little sad, to my own surprise, to see the drowning. It was an old man who looked like he was such a sweet guy. He could've been anybody's grandpa, just went for a swim, but ended up getting tired in the deep end and drowning, really sad. It still is somewhat shocking to see how they just manhandle these bodies around so rough. I guess its the job, but i just kept picturing my grandma or somebody on that table being cut open and eviscerated like that...unfortunately i'm a very visual person lol. I visualize everything, even the bad things. The lighter side of that case was that as  they were making the classic "Y" cut...we saw a "cyst" near the bladder. As the bowels and everything were being removed the tech popped the cyst and it ended up being a penis pump! It was actually pretty entertaining cuz we were all trying to figure out how that exactly works. I guess you work with what you have to lighten the mood of this poor old man who drowned. It was an interesting day that's for sure. Glad I got to go and observe!

In other news, i'm sad lance is in 4th in the tour. I really wanted him to get it this year, but its not over. I just really really hope he comes back. I don't like Contador, he's a little jerk. In my own training news...i'm going to start getting really really serious starting friday. No more every other, when i'm not tired, workouts. I HAVE to make myself run outside, swim more often, and ride like there's no tomorrow. I need to take on the heat and just do it. I know if i don't, i'll just look back and say "i should've done more with the time off I had." Not that I don't have time off...i still work all day everyday, just a short day...like 8 hours...instead of 14 or 15 like i'm going to have here in a couple of months. So no excuses, I have to get in gear!

Makes you wonder about doctors....

So today I had the great opportunity to sit in a required 8-5 meeting of the Arizona board of osteopathic examiners. All I have to say is...wow.  The board basically reviews case complaints against physicians by either patients, other physicians, or anybody else for that matter and determines if action should be taken against the physician, i.e put on probation, suspension, writing letter of concern, etc. It's different than appearing for a malpractice case, this is of no monetary gain/loss to anyone, it's just a BAD thing for a doctor to go through.  We saw cases ranging from physicians over prescribing opiates (maintaining people's addictions), writing narcotics for themselves, poor charting, and my personal favorite, telling patient her shot is not a steroid, but rather it's actually MAGIC. (I just want to mention that this doctor also wears his best jack sparrow costume in to work, lies on the floor on his belly to read patients charts, and wore a suit with sandals and red socks to his meeting before the board today!) So, although some claims were funny, some were unfounded, most of them were scary...really scary.  We're always taught the importance of charting correctly and documenting EVERYTHING but after today...I'm seriously thinking about writing down my patients' outfits at the time of their visit, not really, but almost. It really put in perspective how important being thorough really is. I mean, of course we shouldn't half ass anything when it comes to patients...but it's incredible how much you have to think about as not to miss anything. They always say if you really are attentive and really focusing on the entire patient and the patient's best interest, rather than just thinking about covering yourself...you won't miss anything. But it's almost like you need to find a balance between the two things.  But then again, doctors are human, they make mistakes, and unfortunately unhappy patients these days like to find the smallest thing to file a law suit. So it's kind of daunting right now trying to just learn how to think like a doctor and having to keep the thought in the back of your mind that on any given day, with any given patient, if you forget one thing, if you don't write it down, or even fail to mention it...you can be in trouble. And knowing all of that....there are hundreds of doctors out there just doing a crappy job at caring for people, failing to do even the basics, and just plain being jerks to their patients. It made me really think/worry about all these doctors my family and friends go to.  How do more people not die?!?! I'm afraid of killing a patient just about on a weekly basis, it's crazy the pressure. But i suppose it comes with the territory.  Somebody once told me that if you picture every patient to be your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandmother, etc...and you treat them the way you'd want your family to be treated, you'll be great. I hope so :-)  

And just a tip to my family/friends in the non-medical field: write down EVERYTHING that relates to your healthcare, hold your doctor accountable for giving you the BEST care you can find, ask questions...and don't stop until they are answered. Be that annoying patient who asks too many questions, it's a good thing! Doctors aren't immune to mistakes and after all, it's YOUR life, who better than to know everything about it than you! (ok i'm done preaching now)

K i'm off to enjoy my free sat night on the town in scottsdale! 

p.s. if your doc ever tells u a drug works by magic...RUN!

Make the most of your life!

Our very last patient today was one that I don't think I'll ever forget. She was a 29 y/o female diagnosed with Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis (ADEM)....a very very rare demyelinating disease. It's pretty devastating and causes progressive loss of muscle function, cognitive function, hearing, bladder function. But despite her condition, she was so happy with her life and just lit up the room with her spirit I was pretty in awe of her. So as I'm doing a annual physical on her we're talking and I was struck by how much her personality reminded me of my cousin casey that passed away years ago from Lupus. She too was very sick...but she was always so happy and bright that you would never know it.  Despite my patients condition, she was so smart and inspiring. She was very interested in whether or not I had a boyfriend, which was kind of funny. But she went on to tell me that I was very pretty and that I would meet the love of my life if I was just patient. Another thing that really moved me was how her husband cared for her. Like my cousins husband who was always by her side through all her illnesses, my patients husband seemed to be her angel as well.  She walked very slowly with a walker but he carried her to the bathroom and cared for her like she was his most precious possession. Sounds silly, but i really got emotional just seeing them and how it reminded me of casey.  So after she left the office I read her entire chart and just couldn't believe what this woman has been through, and still had a smile on her face. She told me that despite her disease, she was determined to walk alone on her 30th birthday...it meant more to her than anything and she was going to do it, no matter what the doctors said. Although its unlikely, I think she can do it. I only met her once, but she seemed like one of the strongest women I've ever met and I'm very happy I met her. 

Just seeing her and the struggles she goes through just to stand upright really moved me. I was going to take the day off but she made me really see how lucky I am.  I came home, swam, ran, and lifted at the gym. I just know that she would give anything to be able to walk, much less exercise...so that inspires me to get out there and make the most of my abilities and the awesome life I've been blessed with. I and i think we all often forget how lucky we really are. It's good to take a step back and realize that no matter how unfair, difficult, or stressful our lives seem....it can always be worse...and our attitude towards life is extremely powerful. It was a great end to the day and I'm really going to try to  smile through even the toughest times and make the most of my life...like my amazing patient and beautiful Casey.  

Do what you love...

So today we got our scores back from the USMLE step 1 (my first set of boards that I took this summer) and I did not do so hot.  I was going to put off checking my score report for a couple of days just because I know my track record for taking standardized tests....IT SUCKS. I'm willing to bet that I'm the worst test-taker you've ever met, seriously, I am.  I've never known myself to do "well" on any standardized test....even after taking it a couple of times. I used to get very discouraged because I felt like I was dumb and didn't know the material...but after making it to medical school, doing fine in the 1st 2 years of medical school, I think i've proved to myself that i'm not a complete idiot. I JUST CAN'T TAKE STANDARDIZED TESTS!!! It is reallly ridiculous how I can know the material well enough to explain it to other classmates...but still freeze up during the test, or convince myself to change my choice to the wrong answer. Or my favorite, I have a gut feeling of the answer...but of course I pick the choice that i've never heard of for some reason that I will never understand. You'd think that after knowing how terrible of a test taker I am I'd be able to fix it or at least improve it. I thought so too, but after this test score, I don't know what else I can do. I'm pretty convinced that some people are just great test takers, and some just suck at it (like me)...and that its not a useful tool to measure one's knowledge. I appreciate the purpose of the tests but I still think less emphasis should be placed on them. The good thing is that I'm not sure what I got on my COMLEX, the set of boards that matters the most.  But if these tests follow the pattern that is my life, I'll retake them (making my life more complicated) and do fine and just keep on going, like I always do.  I'm not complaining, but nothing in my life has ever gone as planned really or without hard work. I know everyone says "nothing worth doing is easy"...yea, but seriously, can I not work twice as hard as everyone else for once? please? Can I be like normal students and take tests just one time and do ok....too easy, i love to make my life difficult.

So I was pretty upset earlier today and had a hypertensive episode and near anxiety attack (good thing i was in a docs office) that lasted like 10 mins. But then I got a call from a patient that called specifically for me. I'm thinking, "why do they want to talk to me, the student, and not the doctor...weird." I had seen her earlier in the morning for persistent diarrhea related to celiac dx and lab follow up. She was actually an awesome patient because she took such awesome notes and asked all the right questions, really making us (me and doc) explain everything about her dx that she didn't understand. I really like it when patients hold their doctors accountable and basically make us do our job. Not to mention, she's very well informed about all of her health conditions. Anyway, I spent almost 30 mins (i can do this b/c we see very few pts at our clinic) explaining her labs to her and what everything meant. So she was calling me to thank me and pretty much tell me that she really appreciated me taking time to explain things on her level, not being annoyed with her list of questions, and that I was going to be a great doctor. She also told me she didn't quite like the doc (he couldn't answer some of her questions and found her annoying) because he somewhat blew off her questions. 

So after stupidly looking at my exam score at work and getting upset....her call really put things into perspective for me...I must be doing something right. (hopefully)  I can answer every question a patient has about labs and her 5 different diseases...but I can't do well on my boards, i don't get it.  So I'm over being mad about my exam because despite how tough and frustrating things get, whether its stupid exams, crazy patients, ridiculous hours, inconsiderate people...the awesome patients and gratification that I am actually helping people makes it all worthwhile. I know there will always be something to get frustrated/upset about...but as long as we don't lose sight of why we do things in the first place, we won't go wrong. And today, my sweet patient reminded me of why I take tests over and over until I pass, why I sacrifice so much time for studying and, why I've put so many things on hold while in school....medicine and helping people is what I love.  I'm so grateful that she reminded me of that today, it was exactly what I needed.       

So I'm just waiting on my next set of scores, hoping for the best, but somewhat mentally preparing for the worst. I'm doing better at learning to accept things I can't change and move forward. It's kind of cheesy but it really is true that no matter how hard things seem, doing what you love and loving what you do really is a great philosophy. 

p.s. i can't wait for lance to win the tour!

It's been a while!!!!!!

So, It's been over a month since my last post...crazy! I have been crazy the past few weeks. I took boards (hopefully passed), got completely settled into the Arizona life, and I've started my first rotation as a third year medical student! 

I LOVE it here! It is HOT, today it got up to 116, but i'm not complaining. I am meeting tons of people, getting some awesome riding in with Team Strada, swimming like crazy and really getting in to the best shape of my life. I'm finally acclimating to the dry heat and my lungs don't feel like they're going to explode anymore after 3 miles. 

I'm working in a Family practice clinic this month in Mesa. It's been somewhat interesting this first week for several reasons. My doc is one of those docs that is very old school (he's like 75) and isn't really keen on change. He's a good doctor, but he's also doing things the same way they were done 30 years ago when he started practicing. So, I've been struggling to find my grove with him and really get a great experience out of it. The awesome thing is that 80% of the people we see are spanish speaking only. Awesome because I get to practice my spanish a lot, which is a big reason I came out here. But aside from the spanish, i'm working with my admin to possibly get switched. I'm really not getting the experience I should be getting as a 3rd year student in this clinic. So I'm trying to learn as much as I can without getting frustrated. After all, I'm with another guy at another clinic in 3 weeks. 

Although I'm not really practicing my physical doctor skills really yet, I have learned a lot about people. When I say people, I'm talking about the low income population of patients that we see. Most of the people are at least well informed about their health and are actively trying to remain healthy or get healthier. But a small percentage just don't care. Most of the time, they only come see us because they hurt and want meds. No matter how many times you tell them that a pill won't fix the pain, the only thing that will make them better is a complete life style change, they don't listen. They don't want to listen. I was surprised by the number of patients that don't listen to anything we say, they just want to walk out of the office with some form of prescription, for anything because they think it will fix their problem. Of course not all are that way, but a larger number than I was expecting. I've had to tell patients that they might as well save themselves the copay if they're not willing to listen and try to understand what the docs are really saying to them. Of course I'm compassionate and try to see their side and realize how difficult it is...but some patients admit they just want pills. Not even narcotics, its a psychological thing. They feel they will actually get better with a pill, even if we both know it won't help them much. I'm quickly learning that people think differently when they get "sick".  Maybe its the way the healthcare system works in this country and the expectations put on doctors and medicine. But it is something I don't think we'll ever understand. People are funny, weird, mean, awesome, rude, and then some. Sometimes you just have to laugh to stop yourself from going crazy trying to keep up with all of them.

But I'm def enjoying life right now and working out a ton to balance out the crazies at work :-)  

Studying, working out, and not being awkward!

So I've been sticking to my schedule of working out and studying pretty strictly for the past couple of weeks now. Studying is going well, but I just feel like there's no way I'm ever going to know everything. I wonder if anybody actually gets to the point where they feel ready...I'm not counting on it. I take the test in a little over a week and it feels like even if I had another month, i'd still feel not as prepared as I should be. I just have to get a much in as I can and pray that during the test i'll be able to find the answers...cuz i know there in my head somewhere, it just takes me a while to find them. I have really enjoyed being able to sleep in (until 8am lol) and wake up on my own schedule with no requirements to be anywhere...except for the pool! Some days I just stay at home and study but others i need to get out. I will say this, I never really doubted it, but I've confirmed for myself that I could never work from home...or be a stay at home mom for that matter. Being at home all day makes me lazier than ever. Even if i'm studying, it sucks, i need to be out studying somewhere or doing things. It's nice every now and then to relax at home, but I think i would drive myself crazy. I sometimes complain that i overload my plate with responsibilities and goals and say "there's never enough time to get it all done!" But when I think about it and now that I do have the time...I still don't get it done! So, i'd much rather be running around crazy and accomplish the 8 out of 10 things on my list for the day, than take my time and still only accopmlish 5 things. But that's just me, I sick and enjoy stress. :)

In other news, I have my free personal training session (came free with gym membership) this week. I know i'm pretty out of shape at the moment, but maybe if they can quantify my out of shapeness...i'll just be that much more motivated! I just hope they don't pinch my fat with that pinchy thing for body fat...i have always HATED that thing since middle school and i swear they always pinch way more than they should!!! (well that's my excuse) I'm going on my first ride with Strada Racing Club this Saturday, I'm pretty excited/nervous. I've never ridden with a big group before and knowing me, it could be disastrous. Maybe I should warn the head coach of my klumsiness and gift of ensuring that everything that can go wrong, does. Speaking of my murphy's law gift...i had a sasha moment last weekend! It was actually kind of funny. Went for a ride, 8 miles in got a flat....fixed the flat (took me forever)...realized my pump didn't work....still had a flat...realized i know nobody in tempe that could pick me up (crap!)...asked a cop for a ride home...he said no cuz he had to go get a drug bust...was stranded for an hour and a half before i realzied i had 1 friend in town....i was rescued!!! My early morning workout-so i can study plan only got me a 8 mile ride and sweet bike short tan lines...gotta love it.

Anyway, my week is full of more studying and more working out...oh and figuring how to make small talk. FYI med students (or maybe just me, but i'm sure i can generalize here) are the most awkward people to talk to...unless you talking about squamos cell cancer of the lung or a big test coming up. I have met about 4 guys in the past couple of days around my apartment or at starbucks that have been nice and potential friends (my friend count here is low).....but of course, me being a huge spaz, an incapable of making small talk for some reason. I'm a weirdo and i freeze with this look on my face like i'm in shock that a guy is talking to me lol. Or maybe its just that they catch me at bad times??? (doubtful) Either way, i need to practice on being a normal person again, able to have normal conversations with normal people...not about medicine! That's my plan for the week. I'll let you know how it goes!

Getting back in gear...

This week has confirmed for me, because it hadn't hit me yet, that I am finished with class! YAY! My schedule for the past week has been study at home 8-12, lunch, study at starbucks 1-6, workout, walk abbey, sleep....and repeat. To you this probably seems like the worst week ever, but I'm actually loving it!! Granted, I woudn't be studying if i didn't have to, but i'm sort of enjoying studying on my own schedule for once, no classes to work around or stupid labs to attend. And even more surprisingly is that I'm more focused here in Tempe, with a million distractions around me, than I was in Kirksville, the land of nothing to do. I guess I just know that at 6pm i'm free to distract myself with the gym, the pool, or my bike, well not so much the bike anymore because I busted the air valved on it last night getting ready for a ride! grrrr. I was all geared up to go too...man! I guess its not a huge deal, I just need to get it fixed asap so i can get back to riding!

So after rendering my bike unridable i decided to run to my new gym and swim a bit! I just joined Lifetime Fitness here, its not far from my apt at all. I LOVE IT!! The pools are great (a little cold but i'm always cold) and its soooooo nice, and actually not very expensive. I'm really excited about it...I just have to get familiar with everything so I don't look like that girl who's never been to a gym before! (i was her yesterday)

It's only been about a week but I already feel better in my workouts. Slowly but surely i will win this battle with the arizona dry air! It's not so fun when you feel like your lungs are full of dust and you have the worst cottonmouth ever! But its ok, i'm getting better. I found some awesome bike shops in town that I need to visit this weekend, i love bike shops...its like my candy store. I've also emailed a couple triathlon clubs here about joining. I want to start getting more serious about training and actually train with a group again. The Phoenix triathlon club is pretty serious and it seems awesome, but i'm not sure how far i'd have to drive since I live in Tempe :-( But i'm about 80% sure I'm going to join. If not that club, I'm looking at Strada racing club. That's through the bike shop and its more of a cycling team but they do have a small triathlon team. I have to look more into them this weekend. Ok well time to study!!! For some reason Friday's don't have any real significance...maybe since i have no real requirements during the week anyway lol. Maybe i'll treat myself to some tv tonight with my girl abbey :-) I'm such a rebel......

Fresh start...

So it has finally hit me now that my family left that I'm actually living in Arizona! I had such a great time seeing Sedona and the Grand canyon with them, i'm so happy they were able to make the trip. It very rare that I get to do things like that with my aunt and uncle, they had a blast!

I love the "new" feel of my apartment. Everything is so new and unused and clean! (thanks to my aunt) I love fresh starts, and AZ is exactly the kind of fresh start i was waiting for. Today I started my real hard core board studying and workouts. The studying went well although i was interrupted by the fact that my internet was down and it was driving me crazy. The run was not so good. I really need to get used to this dry air...nosebleeds while running aren't fun. Not to mention i was running like I hadn't ran in a month...oh wait, I haevn't!! Eeeek! The good thing is that runs like tonight make me want to kick my own butt back into gear, it was just pathetic. I'm still debating whether or not to race in the sprint tri in Flagstaff on the 9th. I really don't have the money :-( I'm going to keep thinking about it, but my bank account is scaring me right now since I just moved across the country!

But regardless of that tri, i'm going to get on a strict workout, perhaps 2 a day, schedule. I need to sign up at a gym ASAP so i can swim!! So basically my life for the next month will be board studying + training...yay!

Abbey is loving the apartment. We are right by the tennis courts and she watches people play all day. I'm sure she's laughing at how terrible they are in her head. I think I'm going to start a blog for her. My cousin came up with the idea, and it'll give me another thing to take up my time, awesome. She's great though, she deserves her own blog!

I really just am so happy to finally be in AZ. I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. Many great things to come!

I made it!!!

So I'm finally In Arizona!! Above are a couple of pics from the drive...I'll post more soon!!! We've been here since Tuesday evening actually, I just haven't had access to internet and have been crazy (in a good way) unpacking and getting settled. The drive was fine. My mom and I were in my X-terra while my uncle and aunt were in the moving truck. We made it here faster than expected, which is awesome...more time to hang out with the family in AZ! (not to mention being stuck in that car/truck and staying at hotels where I had to sneak Abbey in wasn't too fun) We've spent the past couple of days unpacking all my boxes and setting up my apartment. It's an awesome thing that both my aunt and my mom insist on helping me clean, set up, cook, and buy things for me...i'm super grateful to have them!! It is kind of funny though when they fight over how they disagree on how MY apartment should be set up and where I should put things. They are both over 50 but still fight like they're 5. I just sit back and laugh at them with my uncle! Even more awesome was when my mom bought some "beer" (smirnoff ice) for her and my aunt to relax... 5 minutes and 1 drink later they're drunk trying to organize my kitchen...all this while fighting with eachother on where my coffee pot should go!! I really love my apartment though...and so does Abbey! (this is very important because she pretty much rules it anyway haha) The best part so far...there are bike paths everywhere!!!! I'm itching to get out and really ride but I'm going to enjoy the family company and do whatever they want while they're here. Not to mention my board studying has been kind of sporadic the past few days. That's ok though, I purposely planned boards later for this reason. It's not very often that I get this time with them. Starting Monday though...it's on! Sprint Tri in Flagstaff on July 9th is getting close!!! Ahhhhhh!

This weekend we're heading up to Sedona to take a couple tours of the Red Rocks and The Grand Canyon, it should be awesome! I'll most definitely have pictures after the weekend and will keep you updated once I get my own internet.

p.s. high of 101 today = i'm in heaven!!! I love this heat!!!

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