What's behind our windows?

[Picture I took of a beautiful window I found in a resort in Villa de Leyva, Colombia]

After reading a recent post by the lovely Gypsie Girl about "the window to our soul," I really started to think about what you'd see if you looked through the window to my soul at this very moment...

I wish the window to my soul looked like the above picture. It makes you just want to look at it for a while, its so unique, colorful, and just looks very inviting! Unfortunately, I don't feel like the window to my soul looks anything like this, well not right now it doesn't. If you were to attempt to look through my window right now, you'd first have to navigate past the barbed wire fence, steel bars, double locks and reinforced metal screen that protects it. And that's just so you can come close to opening it. That sounds just awful right? Who on earth would even want to go near that? I'd like to try and convince myself that my window is happy and inviting, but I think its important to be true, if not to anybody, at least to ourselves. So, that leaves me to see that man my window sucks right now, its actually pretty dang ugly if you ask me. But i suppose the first step to improving our windows is to take the time to notice how ugly they really are. Ok so my window is gross, now what? Thanks to Gypsie, I'm able to now think about all that you'd see if you were successful in the feat of conquering my window and still brave enough to look inside. Here are some of the things you'd see:
- turmoil that comes and goes...with myself and the environment I'm in right now
- passion...that I try to put into everything I do, right or wrong
- excitement...for big things to come and a new perspective on life
- fear...of the future and that i won't reach the goals I set for myself
- confidence...that I can live my dreams as long as I have faith in myself and others (I guess it is possible to be afraid and confident at the same time?)
- anger...towards certain people... that I often let emotions override a gut feeling and lose focus on what really matters in life
- frustration...with myself for not taking the time to appreciate the simple things that make all the difference...that I can't seem to wake up in the morning and just smile at all the positives in my life without thinking about the negatives
- motivation...to finally get out and start crossing things off of my list...to gett off my butt and make things happen...to at last start living the life I'm always planning for
- worry...that I'm not doing everything I can to help the people that really need me (i.e. family and friends)
and lastly.........
-LOVE...for myself, family, friends...for the falls i've taken (and the many more to come I'm sure)...for the several times i've gotten back up...for life in general- the crazy rides it takes us on, and how it has a funny way (even a sense of humor at times!) of showing us that things will always work out in the end

So that's my window and a lot of the things you'd see if you looked through it. Is it exactly what I want you to see? Maybe, maybe not. I would love to have only great things behind my window, just smiles, and inspiration. But I know that's not real life. If it weren't for all the ugly things, how can we really appreciate beauty? I'm working on a lot of the not so beautiful things (this includes my window itself, that needs some work), but acknowledging the work that needs to be done I think is a step in the right direction, and that's just fine with me.